Page 41 of Pieces of Me

“I can love you,” Rylan whispered, going to him and trying once again to pull him close. “I love you.”

Scott shrugged, rigid in Rylan’s arms. “That’s nice,” he said woodenly. “But that don’t mean nothin’ to me.”

Rylan wanted to gasp from the pain that punched him right in the gut. He swallowed hard, tamping it down. Of course Scott would lash out right now like the wounded animal he was.

Back off, Ry, he told himself. Give him some space. He let go of Scott and took a step back.

“Okay. I’m―I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk.”

Scott nodded, his face still blank, and Rylan said, “Let’s go to bed, okay?” Maybe intimacy would break down the barriers, the thick walls Scott was throwing up all around him. They could talk it out afterward, when Scott was cuddling him close like he always did, both of them warm and sated. They could figure out where to go from here.

His resolve was shaken when, instead of answering, Scott elbowed him away, grabbing for his running clothes. Without saying a word, he exchanged his street clothes for the shorts and a tank and sat on the edge of the bed to lace up his sneakers.

“Going for a run?” Rylan said, knowing he was stating the obvious but striving for a normal tone. “It’s so late. Why don’t we―”

Scott didn’t acknowledge Rylan at all, just stood and strode from the room and out the front door. By the time Rylan managed to follow him to the porch, Scott was gone.

✩✩✩

Step, step, breathe. Step, step, breathe, Scott chanted to himself as he ran, using the cadence to keep the churning thoughts at bay. Step, step, breathe.

The night was warm and sultry, the smell of the sea strong. Humidity cloaked him like a wet blanket, making the air feel almost weighted as he struggled to take it in. Finally giving up on running, he slowed to a walk, his hands laced behind his head.

The neon lights from town made the sky above them glow, and Scott wandered aimlessly in that direction, not sure where he was going or what he was gonna do when he got there. He had to avoid thinking at all costs, had to avoid remembering how Heather’s hoarse words had slammed against him, shattering every illusion he’d ever had, everything that kept him going when things seemed their bleakest.

Goddammit, why had he chosen then to walk up? After his birthday celebration, Lisa had dropped him off on the road like she always did, not wanting to pull up into his yard and then have to back up. Scott had walked under cover of darkness, grimacing when he’d noticed Heather and Rylan sitting together on the swing, her uncoordinated movements cluing him in that she was stinking drunk. He hadn’t wanted to deal with her, not when he’d had such a good time with his friends, and for one moment he’d considered going around to his window and climbing directly into his bedroom, unseen. How he fucking wished to God he’d done that.

But Rylan had taken her hand, squeezing it, and he could see that Heather was crying. Curious, he’d walked up to the porch, still in shadow, in time to hear her tell Rylan about―no. He didn’t want to remember it, didn’t want to acknowledge it. What was that saying? Ignorance was fuckin’ bliss? He could have easily gone the rest of his life without knowing what he knew now.

“Scott.”

The soft voice directly behind him caused Scott to jump a mile, and he whirled around to see―Jesus Christ, talk about déjà vu.

“Mr. Tanner,” he said, too weary and heartsore to even be upset. “Are you followin’ me?”

Tanner shook his head. “No.”

Scott didn’t believe him, but he shrugged, turning and starting to head toward Donna’s bar. It had been awhile since he’d been in there, and he figured he owed her a visit. Anything to avoid going home… “Leave me alone, Mr. Tanner.”

“Please call me Joel, Scott. I just―God, I want―”

For some reason Scott stopped walking, and Tanner took advantage of the pause, hurrying to stand in front of him and looking at him with a worshipful expression on his face. “You get more beautiful every time I see you. Happy birthday, baby.”

Scott blinked, ignoring the endearment. “How did you―oh, my student records, from when you worked at the school.”

Tanner nodded. “I thought of you all day today, hoping you were having an awesome birthday. Did you?”

Scott gave a mocking laugh. “No. I’d have to say it pretty much sucked ass like nothing’s ever sucked ass before.”

“Oh.” Tanner grimaced sympathetically. “I’m so sorry. Anything I can do?”

“Nah.” Scott made to walk past him, and Tanner reached out and took his arm, stopping him.

“Baby. Don’t you know I’ll do anything for you?” he breathed. “You need something? I’ll buy it. You want to go somewhere? Let’s go.”

Scott shook his head. “You’re crazy.” He didn’t pull away, though, just stood there, even as Tanner smoothed his palm up Scott’s bicep to grip his shoulder.

“Damn, you’re so beautiful, so sexy.” Tanner stroked his thumb over Scott’s collarbone, and his infatuated, adoring expression was like a sudden balm to Scott’s battered emotions. It soothed him. Tanner didn’t know anything. He didn’t care about Scott’s dad or what he’d done or about how Heather hated him or the fuckin’ pity in Rylan’s eyes―