Page 98 of Paper Horses

“I have a nephew,” she said, her voice like one of those phone systems that take you through menus and never let you talk to a human.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, his brow quirking. “See him often?”

“Unfortunately. But he…” She blinked, moving her hands just slightly, like she was evaluating the bundle in them. “…does more. Lots of babbling about video games and cars.”

Now, both of them were gawking at her.

“Well, that’s just… Here, let me take him.” Carl reached out and took the baby, leaving Olivia’s arms still outstretched.

“How old is your nephew?” Jessie asked, wiping her jacket.

“Four…no, five. His birthday is next week, so I guess he’ll be six.”

“Guess that’s an event you won’t be attending,” I said, still suppressing my laughter.

She relaxed her arms, studying her hands as if she might need to remove them to stop the spread of a virus.

“They're going to visit my sister-in-law’s parents in Connecticut for it this year, and they said something about taking him to the zoo before that.”

“With you?”

She pulled her gaze to Jessie, whose eyes wore the familiar crease that told me she wanted to give Olivia a hug. A bad idea because it would only cause her to retreat like a cornered cat, but Jessie had always been a softy. She’d adopted more stray pets than I could count in the years I’d known her. Probably the reason she had any interest in me, thinking I needed saving when there was only one woman who could save me. The same one who would drown me again in a matter of days.

“No, that’s their thing.” Olivia rubbed her ear, and I could see the wheels turning, the dive into her head while she considered Jessie’s words. “I don’t know when I’ll see him. Maybe I’ll just give his gift to Gabe. It’s better that way.”

“Sure,” Carl said, raising his eyes from her to me and giving me a puzzled look. Likely thinking I was nuts to want her back. If he’d voiced the thought, I would have punched him, but he was smart enough to keep it to himself.

“We’re going to look around, maybe take a ride on the Ferris wheel,” I said, taking her elbow. “Olivia’s never been on one.”

“Never?”

She shook her head. “No, these kinds of things were not in my childhood.”

And Carl’s features shifted. “Take her on the hayride, Hudson. Got a great setup this year.”

“I’ll do that. Thanks, Carl.”

They said their goodbyes, and I took Olivia’s hand again, leading her through the crowd.

“So, I’m guessing babies aren’t your thing?” I asked her while we stood in line for cotton candy. Another thing she’d never had, and I was curious to see what she was like on a sugar high. Tonight was going to be even more fun than I had expected.

“I don’t do babies or kids. I’m not good with them.” She lifted her eyes from where she’d been staring at the boots of the man in front of us. “Does that bother you?”

“Nah. I’m too old and stuck in my ways to bother with kids.”

“But we used to talk about having them.”

“People change. You did.”

“No, I never really wanted them. That was what you wanted.” She covered her mouth like she’d let out a devastating secret. I’d known back then, heard the hesitation every time we talked about kids, suggested we’d have dogs instead, and seen how she’d relaxed.

The line moved, and I bought us a pink pile of the sticky, sugary stuff, handing it to her as I paid. She tipped it back and forth while we walked away, and I pulled a wad off and stuffed it into her mouth, receiving a grumble of muffled complaints.

“I did,” I admitted. “Thought it would be fun to have a little girl who looked just like her mom, with those same stunning eyes and thick curls. Maybe a little boy I could play catch with in the yard of our farmhouse.”

“This stuff is nasty,” she said, pulling another piece off and eating it.

I flashed her a grin before I continued, “But I knew you didn’t, and there was only one thing I wanted more than that dream, Olivia.”