Page 45 of Paper Horses

He took a step, and I said, “If I were?” The words came out as a breath, heavy and laced with a possibility that haunted me.

“We’d be different people…like we were back then. But you’re not, Olivia. You made sure of that.”

My breath hitched, pain coiling around my insides.

“Forget about coming outside. Stay here and do whatever it is you do to occupy yourself in your fancy penthouse suite in the city.”

“It’s not the penthouse,” I mumbled as he walked away. “Only Gabe gets the best while I fight for the scraps.” And as much as I hated it, I would never fault my brother for it. I loved him too much, and after all he had suffered, he deserved the best.

I hugged my arms to my chest as Hudson’s footsteps faded. Wind whipped against the window, reminding me of the emotions that wouldn’t stop battering at my foundation.

Chapter 11

Hudson

Fighting for scraps. Olivia’s words had been soft but loud enough to shake me. She had kept her family life distanced when we were together, as if there were a separation between it and me. And I’d let her, never pushing, and maybe that had been my downfall. I stopped on the front porch, staring at the thunderclouds barreling down on us.

For the first time in fifteen years, an answer touched my mind. After years of struggling to understand how we fell apart, to figure out how one small fight became our undoing—an argument she started about something so stupid it hadn’t even been worth the anger—no answer had ever come to me. But maybe I’d been looking in the wrong place.

Lost in thought, my feet took me to the barn without direction. I opened Honey’s stall and stopped as the thought played in my mind. That our destruction had something to do with whatever it was she hid from me about her family. Something to do with her overbearing father. While I fight for scraps.

The idea had me seething, and I wanted answers. I wanted the truth, but she was so good at running from it I doubted I could get through her defenses.

“Is that your idea of work?”

I turned to see her at the front of the barn, rubbing her arms.

“Where’s your jacket?”

“I didn’t think to bring it.”

“Well, go back inside. I told you to stay there anyway. I don’t need to hear your whining and complaining while I’m working.”

There was something fragile about her today, like a part of her mask had cracked too much to fix. Hazel, with a dusting of gold, gazed at me.

“I want to help.”

My eyes squinted as I waited for some smart-ass comment to follow, but it never did.

“Fine, but one complaint and I’m sending you back in the house to work on whatever it is you do.”

“Operations,” she said as I walked over to grab another pair of gloves for her. Tossing them to her, I drew closer. Captivating. That was what Olivia was. Like a siren, beautiful and deadly, and I wanted to jump into the water with her, to have her pull me under and drown me again.

I took my coat off and placed it on her shoulders, standing too close to her. The scent of jasmine came from her hair, and I breathed it in, savoring it.

“Keep that on and tell me what that means.” I beckoned her to follow me, listening as she talked. Asking her questions that stuck to facts and looking for answers between her words. Something to help me understand. All the while, she took my direction, no complaints, no looking at her nails or throwing me daggers. She worked hard, and the more we worked to clean the stalls and prep them for the horses, the more she relaxed, the more the mask slipped.

By the time we finished up, the wind was howling so hard that it was gusting through the stables.

“Go inside,” I said. “Let me get the horses in before it starts raining.”

“But I can help.”

“No, go in and wash up. You’ve done enough.”

She gave me a nod and turned to walk away.

“And Olivia.”