Page 16 of Paper Horses

Chapter 6

Liv

Hudson was gawking at me, his brows pinched together. I knew that look, remembered it from the day we broke up. Distrustful, angry, defensive.

He crossed his arms, his thick forearms pressing against the tight fit of his shirt, and my eyes strayed to them, fascinated by how muscular he was now. He’d always been fit, but in a tall, lanky way I’d adored. But now…now he was sexy, especially with that damn cowboy hat he wore. It hurt to look at him, ached in my chest where the ache had nestled for years, letting me grow accustomed to it and only rearing its ugly head in certain moments. Like this one.

I turned from him, hating the judgment in his eyes.

“What happened to you, Olivia?” he asked, causing my step to falter.

I left you, and it still hurts. “Nothing. I’m the same as I’ve always been.”

A snort proceeded, “Like hell. You’ve turned into your father.”

I inhaled. The words were like a slap with more force than I imagined he knew since he only knew of my father on a surface level—the greed, the absence, the coldness. I’d never told him the full truth. Nothing of the physical abuse to Gabe or the verbal to me. The disparaging comments, the blatant favoritism, the sexism.

Hudson had been my island. A safe place where none of that existed, and even after my mother’s death, I had continued to leave the chaos from that peace. Returning to him every semester and leaving everything else behind until I no longer could.

“I suppose I am,” I said, heading toward the horse. I mounted her and settled myself in the saddle. “Let’s go back so we can review the numbers.”

This weekend can end, and I can return to burying my feelings for you in wine and meaningless hook-ups.

“Not until we eat and get you some clothes. And did you just get on that horse yourself?”

“I…” I looked down, only then realizing I had without even thinking. It had been so natural that I hadn’t noticed. My dress had bunched up at my thighs, and Hudson’s sight flicked to them, his jaw tensing as something akin to hunger flashed in his eyes. I did a double-take, thinking I must have read him wrong, but his expression shifted to that grimace he’d worn since he’d first seen me.

“Just like riding a bike,” he muttered. “You get your own horse the next time we go out.”

He climbed behind me, and I looked over my shoulder at him, almost struck mute by how his irises were like rich milk chocolate.

“What are you doing? I asked, scooting forward.

“Move any further and you’ll be sitting on that saddle horn, and I can’t imagine that’s comfortable. Although with as icy as you are, it might be the only pleasure you get.”

I tried to twist around, but he planted his hand on my waist and reached around me with the other to grab the reins.

“That’s gross, and I get plenty of pleasure, asshole.”

He froze, the hand on my waist tightening. After a gravely clearing of his throat, he asked, “Boyfriend?”

He signaled for the horse to move, and my body swayed, moving with his too comfortably.

“No, I don’t do attachments.” Not that I’d been able to. Not after Hudson. Of course, I’d never found anyone who did what Hudson did to me, so none of them were worth keeping or giving up on my revenge. I had sacrificed the only love I’d had for that revenge. “Unlike you,” I added with a sneer.

A rumble like a growl came from him, and he lowered his hand to my hip. The contact was killing me.

“Was I supposed to remain faithful to a woman who told me to get lost after giving her four years of my life?” His words held a bitterness that scraped at my skin.

“Well, of course not, but⁠—”

“But what, Olivia? I shouldn’t have tried to find happiness. To find another you?” My pulse thundered, and I held onto the saddle for fear of falling. “As impossible as that was,” he mumbled.

I peered back at him, but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Do you know why I wanted to take you to the mountains that day?” he asked.

The wind blew a strand of hair into my mouth, and I picked it out, keeping my eyes on the pasture ahead of us. It really was beautiful land. If only he’d realized he’d bought next to a den of vipers.