Page 21 of Kylie

I fisted Gage’s shirt tighter, feeling the sorrow as it poured off of my husband. I hadn’t seen that last precious moment I'd had with Kylie as a blessing. But Gage was right. I'd had that.

“Every minute without her is agony, Trav. That’s to be expected. We’ve lost somethin’ important. Somethin’ crucial. But we have to keep puttin’ one foot in front of the other. We can’t keep dwellin’ on what we don’t have. It’s not good for us; it’s not good for the kids.”

I knew Gage was right. Of course I did, but that didn’t make it any easier.

“How do we fix it?” I honestly wanted to know. I needed to know because going on like this wasn’t sustainable.

We stared at one another for a moment.

“The letter,” Gage finally said.

I didn’t speak.

“Tomorrow, we’ll read the letter. Together.”

I managed a nod.

“But tonight, we’ll start by sleepin’ in here. Both of us.” There was so much pain in Gage’s eyes. “I don’t wanna be alone, Trav. You said you wouldn’t make me do this alone.”

I knew he wasn’t referring to taking care of the house, the kids, the responsibilities. I was putting in my time as promised. Yet I was ignoring our relationship, our bond. I'd all but written it off because I didn’t believe I deserved Gage. In doing so, I was hurting the man I loved.

“We’ll start with one night,” he continued. “See how it goes.”

I wasn’t sure I'd survive it, but at the same time, I knew I wouldn’t survive leaving Gage alone tonight. Hell, I couldn’t survive much more of this rift we were creating between us. It was tearing me to shreds with each passing day.

“Okay.”

Gage must’ve known I was having a difficult time processing, even with my agreement, because he didn’t go far, leading the way to our bed.

Every step I took felt heavy. My heart picked up a new rhythm, a drumbeat of both pain and need, loss and love.

“Be with me tonight, Trav. Just me. Just us. For a little while.”

I focused only on Gage, on the man I had fallen in love with, the man who’d been my lifeline and my anchor over the years.

“I love you,” I whispered, sliding my palms over his whiskered cheeks.

“I know.”

I realized that was the second time he had responded that way. He hadn’t returned the sentiment, merely acknowledged it.

“Tell me you love me, Gage,” I insisted, pulling back enough that I could see his face clearly, so I could look into his eyes. “Tell me.”

“I do, Travis. Of course I do.”

I cupped his face firmly. “Tell. Me.”

Gage’s eyes flashed with pain once again.

I stepped in, holding him roughly. “Tell me you love me, dammit.”

“I love you,” he blurted, a sob tearing free. “Goddammit, Travis. I love you.”

“Why’s it so hard for you to say it?”

His brown eyes shone with unshed tears. “It’s not.”

I wouldn’t say that was a lie, but it damn sure wasn’t the truth.