Page 155 of Kylie

We were ten days away from Christmas, and I found myself getting into the spirit. I couldn’t quite pinpoint why, but I was sure it was a culmination of a few things.

It likely had something to do with the decorations we’d been putting up this past week. With Kate and Avery’s help, I managed to get the front porch looking like a scene right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. If the painting had been made by a couple of overzealous little girls who thought glittery tinsel was the be-all and end-all of holiday decorations.

But it was perfect.

As was the Christmas tree now adorning the living room. Kade and Haden had worked hard on that one, with Maddox adding touches to the very bottom. I had done my best to fill in the top, but there was no denying that the most decorated part was under the three-foot mark.

Again, it was perfect.

There were a few presents already stacked neatly below it, and just as I’d expected, the kids were already trying to figure out what was hidden in the boxes wrapped in glossy paper. None of them had names on them for that purpose. We knew whose was whose by the wrapping paper, but we didn’t share that information with the kids. Nor would we until Christmas Eve, when all that paper was ripped from those boxes.

They would just have to wait and see.

It was amazing what a couple of months could do to one’s headspace. It seemed that with each passing day, my piece in the overall puzzle felt more in place. No, things weren’t the same as they’d been before I died, but we were settling into a new norm, and it seemed to be working for everyone.

“Why don’t you go grab a shower?” Travis said as he marched down the back stairs.

“Where’re you headed?” I asked, pausing in my pursuit to clean the kitchen island as he walked by.

He pushed through the kitchen door and into the living room, not answering me.

Frowning, I stared after him.

“I can’t find it!” Travis shouted from the living room.

“Find what?” I called back.

He pushed open the door and stuck his head in. “Maddox’s blanket.”

When he disappeared, I continued to stare at the door. Maddox had his blanket. I knew because I’d given it to him when I put him to bed a little while ago.

I could hear Travis hunting around the living room. It was just a matter of time before he would get frustrated and something would get damaged if I didn’t help.

Tossing the rag into the sink, I headed after him, fully intending to⁠—

“What the…” I stopped so abruptly that the swinging door made a reverse turn and bumped me in the ass.

I narrowed my gaze, hoping that would help me to make more sense of the scene before me.

Travis and Gage were both kneeling on the floor just a few feet away from the door. It was quite the sight, really. Travis in his jeans and T-shirt, his boots still on his feet. Gage wearing his pajama pants and a T-shirt, his feet bare. It looked like one was waking up for the day, the other going to bed.

I glanced between them. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Come here and we’ll show you.”

Unable to stop the happiness from bubbling down deep, I moved toward them. I couldn’t help it. After my harrowing ordeal and the first couple of months as I tried to find my footing, I was feeling more confident about where things were. I had Travis and Gage to thank for some of that. So, of course, when they wanted to shower me with attention, I wanted to soak it all up and hold onto it forever.

Travis reached forward and took my hand, urging me even closer. I stared down at them, confused but curious.

“As you know, the past couple of years have been hell. For all of us, but mostly for you.”

I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat.

“We thought we would live out the rest of our days with a hole in our hearts, but then…”

Travis paused, and I could tell he was attempting to keep his composure. I knew the feeling. This was a topic I’d covered with Dr. Briggs, speculating what it was like to be Travis and Gage, mourning my death and trying to keep things going for the kids. I wasn’t sure I would’ve been nearly as strong as they had been if I had lost one of them. I didn’t even want to think about it.

“But then you were back,” Gage continued for him, his words laced with gravel. “And our world was set back on its axis.”