Page 128 of Kylie

“Does it feel weird that I’m here?” she asked.

I shifted my attention from the television to her. I didn’t answer right away, giving the question considerable thought. Giving her the standard response wasn’t an option. Not if I wanted us to find our footing once again. And I did. More than anything.

“Yes,” I finally said. “In the best possible way.”

Kylie smiled, but I sensed that it was forced. “Y’all have done a good job with the kids.”

The separation between her and us was still there when it came to comments like that. Kylie wasn’t asking for permission to be involved anymore, but there was still a distinction at times.

“I don’t know about that. It’s an uphill battle.”

“That’s expected.”

Yeah. Maybe.

“They missed you so damn much,” I told her.

She nodded, her eyes still lingering on my face. “Did you?”

What kind of question was that?

I was offended that she would ask such a thing, but I refrained from getting upset. “Did I miss you? Of course I did.”

She nodded again, as though only partially accepting the answer.

“Why would you think otherwise?”

Kylie shrugged.

I did move closer then. Her eyes tracked me as I closed the distance between us so I could put my arm around her. I pulled her against my side and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Our lives ended when we thought you were dead,” I whispered.

“Looks like y’all have moved on quite well to me.”

There was pain in her voice.

“Trust me, it wasn’t easy.” I decided to give her some examples to help her understand. “Travis moved out of our bedroom right after you … uh…” I swallowed, unable to say the word. “He couldn’t go back in there.”

“But you didn’t have a problem?”

“I had to be in there. It was the only way I felt close to you. I could smell you on the pillows. Hell, I didn’t change the pillowcase on your pillow for months.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “Sometimes I would pour your bodywash into the water while I was in the shower just so I could smell you.”

Kylie shifted back, her fingers pressing against my jaw, urging me to look at her. I turned my head, letting her see the tears that I couldn’t hold back. Although she’d been home for nearly two months, I still got choked up. Sometimes it didn’t feel real, and I was terrified that I would wake up one morning and she would be gone again.

“We were miserable without you,” I said, my voice rough with emotion. “I don’t ever want to go through anything like that again.”

Her eyes implored me, but I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Will you take a shower with me?”

That was the absolute last thing I expected her to ask.

I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks. “Are you sure?”