Page 164 of The Siren of Sussex

Her hazel eyes took on a martial glint behind the lenses of her spectacles. “It’s lately seemed to me that we ladies are dropped into a churning sea and forbidden from revealing that we know how to swim. But I do know how, and I’m not too delicate minded to do it. Not anymore. I refuse to believe that it’s more respectable to drown than to save myself.”

“Evelyn . . .”

“Besides,” she said. “I’ve done nothing to tarnish my reputation, not by rational standards. Putting Hephaestus out to stud is sensible. Indeed, one might argue that failing to make the most of his bloodlines is the greater sin. Not to mention the financial aspect of the business. If arranged efficiently, the fees would pay for his upkeep, and leave a tidy sum left over besides.”

Ahmad had grown up in the city. Saddle horses were a luxury. He knew precious little about their upkeep, and even less about the fees attached to their breeding arrangements. “Whatever the sum, it can’t be enough to justify endangering your good name.”

“Fifteen pounds.”

“Fifteen pounds?” It was nearly as much as Ahmad charged for one of his habits. The difference being that he didn’t earn the sum outright. He had to deduct the not insubstantial cost of fabric and trimmings.

“You think it too steep? I assure you, it isn’t. Indeed, I’ve discounted the fee to ten pounds for the first year, as an incentive. Quite a bargain, I thought.”

“By what measure?”

“By any measure. One need only look at the sporting pages. Champion studs are advertised for a similar amount. And when one considers I have the best horse in the world—”

“Evie . . . who in their right mind would pay such a fee?”

“Lots of gentlemen,” she said. “Lewis has already taken five bookings, including two from Mr. Fillgrave for his Spanish mares.”

Ahmad stared at her, dumbstruck. Five bookings? That was fifty pounds.

He felt the sudden urge to laugh.

It was offset by a grimmer impulse.

He knew why she was doing this. It was because his business was in danger of failing. She was trying to alleviate some of the burden.

By God, he admired her for it.

At the same time, he hated that she was obliged to even think of such things. A man looked after the woman he loved. He didn’t take from her. And he didn’t permit her to risk her good name on his account.

“That’s why I must go back to Combe Regis for a time,” she said. “I want to see Hephaestus settled, and to visit my sisters while I’m there. It would be the perfect opportunity for you to call on my aunt.”

“How long do you intend to stay?”

“A few days”

“Is that all?”

Her brows knit in an uncertain frown. “You suggest I stay longer?”

Last week, when the two of them parted at Cremorne Gardens, he wouldn’t have dreamed of suggesting any such thing. But the landscape of his life had changed dramatically since then. He was no longer certain about anything.

“I do,” he said.

Evelyn stared at him. His words were so entirely at odds with his attentive manner, she didn’t know how to receive them. “What is this?” she asked softly. “What are you trying to say to me?”

“Only that I wonder if, given the circumstances, it might not be best if we took some time apart.”

She stopped breathing. “What circumstances?” A terrible thought struck her. “I haven’t scandalized you with my plans for Hephaestus, have I?”

“No. It’s not that. It has to do with my own situation.”

Her eyes searched his. “Is this about that ridiculous item in the paper?”

“In part.” He paced to the window, giving her his back. His shoulders were taut beneath his coat. “I’ve lately been compelled to face reality.”