Page 74 of A Secret In The Garden

“You say a word, I’ll fire you,” I threatened.

She grinned, looking at me thoughtfully for a minute.

“What are you staring at?” I asked as I grabbed one of the insanely hot apple muffin things.

“Nothing,” she said, looking down, the smile still there.

“Katya, don’t fucking toy with me,” I demanded. Had this been anyone but her or Leah, I really would have fired them, or worse.

“You deserve it, you know?” she said in a surprisingly soft voice. I was used to her gruff, curt tone. “To be happy.”

I took a bite of the pastry and scowled at her. “Calm your tits. She’s leaving in a few weeks. We’re just having fun.”

She nodded sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “Well, I think she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you and this manor. Even with your father doing what he’s doing, I haven’t seen you smile or be this happy in…ever.”

I rolled my eyes and scowled again, uncomfortable with the attention to my personal life. I leaned in and gave the older woman a kiss on the cheek. “You’re lucky you’re such a good chef. I’ll be back soon.”

As I got into my car and left the manor, I realized how true Katya’s words had been.

I had tried to run from the storm that brewed between Eliza and me. When I left for New York, I had every intention of never speaking to or seeing Eliza Arnold again. I couldn’t imagine letting anyone get so close to me and seeing the parts of me that weren’t sharp and defensive. To be honest, it had never even been a thought I’d had to entertain. There was no struggle to keep people out. It was an easy, thoughtless way of life.

Until the brown-haired, blue-eyed botanist entered my life.

She had already weaseled her way in before I left in an effort to keep her out.

Before I had come home from New York, I knew I needed her. At that point, I hadn’t thought about the logistics or the details—all I knew was that I needed her in my life. I didn’t care in what capacity; I wouldn’t spend another day trying to push her away.

Then last night happened.

I had to shift my position in the driver’s seat because my dick was stiffening at the thought of how fucking well she took me last night, how needy her tight little body had been—like she had been waiting for me to ruin her. She shouldn’t have come apart so deliciously if she wanted it to be a one-time thing—which she didn’t.

She was mine, whether she liked it or not. If you summon the devil, it’s pointless to flinch when he shows up. I’d never really seen a girl cry before, maybe my mother once or twice, but not in the way Eliza had cried last night before I got to her room. She wasn’t crying when I was in there; she was all anger and adrenaline, but I could tell she had cried really, really hard before I showed up. A strange feeling had consumed me as I watched her red-rimmed eyes glare at me in pain-soaked anger. It hit hard—in the emotional parts of me that shouldn’t have even still been functioning. Gagging on my cock would be the only thing that made her eyes red and her mascara run, nothing else.

Now that I was in her life, no one was going to make her hurt. I was unexpectedly invested in Eliza Arnold, and I protected my investments. At some point, since being in this house, she had single-handedly reached in and defrosted my cold, unfeeling heart, and she didn’t even know it. She was special. I never liked anyone—and I really, really liked her.

Not that I was one to throw stones, but her family had really done a number on her. I knew she kept the darker details to herself, but I also knew she needed to get away from her mother. Apparently, even if they didn’t abandon you, they could still be shitty, awful parents. It was ironic: my parents didn’t want anything to do with me, and hers couldn’t leave her alone.

If Eliza couldn’t see her own worth, I would happily make it my job to teach her. Her mother had beaten her down until she was left with nothing. That was why she just took it—every awful thing her mother did or said to her was done under the lie that it all stemmed from love, but it wasn’t love. She got rid of her goddamn apartment, for fuck’s sake, and now she was ruining things for me with Eliza.

I let out a slow breath and tried to focus on the road. Getting fired up about her mother wasn’t going to do anything.

Last night, I wanted Eliza to see how strong she was—that she could do anything and I would be there for her, no matter what happened. Even if things didn’t work out between us, she would never, ever have to fight alone again. Ever. Not many people earned my loyalty, but she had it.

When I had suggested that she use her adrenaline to face her fear and her knees had trembled, I’d felt like I was protecting a fragile little egg, keeping my hands on either side of it as it rolled clumsily to its destination, hoping I wasn’t going to break it. When she opened her eyes and saw the view, I had no idea that from that fragile little egg, a fire-breathing dragon would emerge, ready to light the world on fire. She was mine.

She was fucking mine.

I was quickly learning that one of the things about having this sort of wildly electric connection with someone was that even without words, one look could give everything that each of us tried to hide away.

Eliza was spiraling, and rightfully so. I had already had my turn when I went to New York; now it was her turn to panic. Neither one of us had had good experiences with the ones who were supposed to be there for you, and because of that, neither of us could trust or love easily—if we could at all. I guess only time would tell if either of us were capable of doing justice to our deeper, stronger feelings.

She could say there was nothing between us all she wanted. But when we first kissed last night, it felt like a Mac truck full of lightning bolts had hit me, and I knew she felt it too. I was an idiot when it came to emotions, but even I knew that type of thing didn’t happen to everybody.

Nothing between us.

After last night, there was no fucking way I was letting that woman get away from me. I couldn’t even think about her leaving the manor—I needed more time with her. It was perfect; with her apartment gone, she could stay at the manor while she looked for someplace closer, and I would have more time with her. Nick from her work could get fucked; she wasn’t moving in with him. She was staying with me.

The fact that she was trying to play off one of the hottest, most soul-connecting moments in history with the term fuck buddies was hilarious. I loved her sense of humor; it was one of the first things that drew me to her, but this wasn’t going to fly.