Page 65 of Can you take it?

Anna looked at me. I wonder what she saw when she looked at me like that, like she could see inside of me. She tilted her chin up slightly, giving me a better view and also putting us in an incredibly intimate moment. “Go ahead,” she said softly.

‘Ooh, what are you doing now? You really like that. Focus! Does she have wrinkles? Freckles? Tattoos? Really feel it.’ Cal’s speech was rushed and curious.

I moved my hand up the side of her delicate face, letting my thumb caress the three tiny creases at her eyes. “She has the scars of laughter and deep smiles at the corner of her eyes,” I said both out loud and in my mind. “Her eyes have more depth than a hole and more light than anything else in this horrid place.”

‘Horrid place?’ Mendax decided to jump in. Again. ‘You are aware we can feel what you feel, right, Sunshine? Horrible where? You sure seem to be warming up to whatever is there quickly.’

‘Why are you still here? I snarled internally. ‘And don’t call me Sunshine.’

“What’s wrong?” Anna asked.

The air deflated from my lungs. “Mendax, he keeps calling me Sunshine.”

Anna cracked a wide smile. “And what do you call him? Is he talking with you as well?”

I glowered. “Yes, he is here, and before you ask, no, I have no clue why I can talk to both him and Cal through the bond.” I thought for a moment. “And I of course call him by his birth name: Smoke-Show.”

Cal laughed and I felt a flicker of light and happy feelings push into the bond.

“How are things going in the lab, Cal?” I asked, hoping to feel more of her happiness.

‘Amazing,’ she said.

‘It’s not amazing,’ Mendax interrupted.’ You spend all day in there when you should be resting.’

‘Why should she be resting?’ I looked at Anna. “Cal has a lab she’s been working on,” I explained, “and Mendax says she spends all day in there but should be resting.”

“She wants to tell us something,” I said aloud to Anna.

“What is it? Is she okay?” Anna asked.

‘I’m pregnant, Eli,’ Cal said. She sounded so nervous telling me.

A thousand emotions poured through me, and I listened to each one carefully before deciding which to grab ahold of. Anna’s mouth dropped when I nodded yes. At first, I couldn’t picture Cal as a mother. She was crass, sharp, violent, and angry. But then I focused on how protective Cal was of Anna, who now sat beside me. I recalled everything Cal did day and night, giving all of herself for her family, and I felt a warmth grow inside of me.

“Cal, you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

Anna covered her mouth with her hand, unsure of what to say as she smiled and grabbed my leg. “Tell her I said congratulations. I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

I paused for a second, scanning Anna’s face. The gentle familiarity of her words struck a chord, making me feel warm and fuzzy.

‘Anna says congratulations. She can’t wait to be an aunt.’ I relayed the message to Cal and felt another burst of happiness surge through, along with a large brick of relief.

‘Eli, I’m petrified, she said, her tone serious. I don’t know what I’m doing. The only example I’ve really had for a mother after mine passed was not great; look how that turned out.’

‘It didn’t turn out that bad,’ I tried to reassure her.

‘Eli, I killed her,’ she said bluntly.

I flinched, not needing the reminder. ‘Look at me—I turned out all right. She raised me.’

“Tell her that sometimes motherly instincts aren’t learned— they’re created. She’s the most determined person out there. I have no doubt she’ll be the best mother.” Anna giggled. “No harm will ever come to that child with her and Mendax around.”

“It’s a good thing I’ll be…” My voice trailed off as the realization hit me: I wouldn’t be there as the baby’s uncle. I wouldn’t be a part of the baby’s life. The baby would never know I existed. “What does the king think about his upcoming offspring?” I asked, leaving my feelings open to the bond, wanting to know how she truly felt. I needed to know that Mendax would be there for her, supporting her every step of the way. If not, I would have a lot more work to do to get out of here than I had thought.

‘Oh my Suns, Eli,’ she mumbled. ‘He’s so excited.’

My surprise drifted over the bond. ‘He’s excited?’