Page 94 of How Does It Feel?

I held the water hemlock to my mouth and swallowed it down. They each tasted foul, and it took everything within me to force the liquids into my mouth.

I chased it quickly with the strong herbed drink and nearly retched. I had to stop and hunch over like a heaving cat before I could down the strong-smelling liquid.

I waited a minute. By now, the other poisons would have caught up and taken hold. Without looking in a mirror, I couldn’t see the color of my tongue or the state of my eyes, but I checked my pulse and was just thankful my heart hadn’t exploded yet.

Had I done it? Had I guessed them correctly?

The last pink chalice stared at me, daring me to lift it.

If I had miscalculated and this was poison, I would be dead within minutes.

I picked up the glass and fought back tears. The worst part of this one was I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t have a good guess. Just a hope and prayer that this was not my time and that it was an antidote.

The cold metal touched my lips, and I swallowed it in three big gulps. It was bitter with a sweet hint of flavor. With my nose close to the liquid, I smelled it again before I emptied the contents of the cup and threw it to the floor, awaiting the tension to leave my shoulders and confirm that I was right, and it was the antidote.

My fingers clenched the fabric of my dress tightly.

It was oleander.

It was poison, and I had no antidotes left.

Chapter 26

Destruction

Callie

The last goblet of liquid was poison. Not an antidote.

I grabbed a fist full of my hair at what I had just done.

I had miscalculated.

She had said four poisons and three antidotes.

My stomach immediately seized in a tight cramp, and I fell on my side still atop the table as I pulled my knees to my chest.

There were no more cups; nothing else was in the room but snakes.

My skin grew both too hot and too cold at the same time.

“You are monsters! This wasn’t even a fair trial! You just wanted entertainment for your demented people!” I screamed, clutching my stomach as stabbing pain spread throughout my body.

I waited but felt and heard nothing from the crowd or Mendax.

“Well, congratulations, you assholes! You got what you wanted!” I cried as hot tears dribbled down to collect on the table below my face.

My voice was hoarse with wailing sobs of defeat. Panic surrounded my every thought.

“Go take the throne, you piece of shit! You’re nothing but a monster, and that’s all you’ll ever be! Some day you will get what’s coming to you!” I choked back a scared sob.

My mind was blurring together like I was underwater. Everything felt foggy and painful. I could feel things beginning to shift and move as my muscles started to spasm.

I was crying so hard now snot ran down my face onto the table and pooled beneath my face. Why was everything in my life so punishing? So agonizingly hellish and tiresome.

At least I could be with my mom and sister again. I would finally be able to hug them again after I died.

“I am so stupid. I wish I’d never seen those fairies, and I wish I’d never met Eli. I wish I’d never seen a stupid moth or mushroom in my life. I wish I’d never become a scientist. I wish I’d never made that deal. I wish I’d never met any Fae ever!” I blubbered just before a sharp pain had me crying out as my stomach seized painfully. My mouth felt so dry.