Page 43 of How Does It Feel?

“I don’t understand it either. I’ve never heard or experienced anything similar and am hundreds of years older than you could even begin to wrap your mortal head around. As for the advice of your shifter friend, in Faerie worlds, a name holds power. Giving your name to someone is like giving them a piece of your soul. Families often do not even share their true names. It gives another the ability to hurt you where no knife could ever reach. There are a few that could even control and kill you just by knowing your name. Only those that truly are so dark they have no heart or soul left to be hurt share their true name freely. Like me,” he said, the purring suddenly ceased.

“Alistair Cain is your real name? Surely you have a heart and soul. Look at you. You spare my life and allow me a moment of comfort petting you.”

“Not all Unseelie are evil, but we all bow to the darkness. I, like so many others here, allowed that darkness to enter my heart eons ago. It’s how you survive here. Trust gets you killed, and love gets you hurt. Everything here is about gaining power in some way or another. There are few here who could hurt me anymore.”

“Alistair—”

“I’d like you to call me something else when you are around me. Something untainted with pain and darkness. I haven’t purred since my mate died. My name is permanently soiled with disease and despair, not fit for whatever it is that you are.” He purred deeply.

His voice and eyes held a sincerity I was unfamiliar with. His words sent a shiver up my spine.

“Shivers.” I smiled.

He sat up to look into my eyes, and the look portrayed more than words ever could.

“If you like it, then that is what I wish you to call me when I’m in your presence.” He purred again.

“I’m Cal—”

“No!” he shouted. “Haven’t you heard anything I’ve said, child? Pick something else, do not speak your real name here,” he admonished, shaking his powerful head.

“No, I’m sorry. I heard what you said, but I will not cower from my own name. I am a simple human and will not be here long enough for it to matter, as I’ll either be dead or returned home. Those that want to kill me already have the upper hand on me whether I give them my name or not.” I straightened my back and felt my chin tip up defiantly, finally feeling a small ounce of control. “I am Callie Peterson. Proud environmentalist and biological technician. I was walking through the forest to get my microscope when I stumbled upon an anomaly of luna moths and a perfect circle of destroying angel mushrooms. I live at 4313 Sassafras Road, Willow Springs, Michigan.”

Shivers moved his head away from me slowly.

“Foolish girl, do not give your real name to anyone else, or you will regret it. Especially not Prince Mendax. He is one of few with the ability to control by name alone. He could force you to walk into a wall repeatedly until it killed you. He could force your mind to think it obsessed with him to the point that you could not breathe without his presence. All the while not lifting a finger from his hand,” he said with a look of tortured bitterness that made his eyes squint above his round jowls.

Was he being controlled by the prince?

“Are you—”

Before I could ask if Shivers was being controlled against his will, the dark cat stood abruptly and watched the door, and all nine of his tails sprang to life to arc toward the entrance. My heart began to race at the conflicted look that pulled at his features, his large body visibly tensed. I hadn’t fully understood how gently he had been treating me until that moment. He was the chosen killer of this horrible realm’s most awful monster, the prince.

“Prince Mendax comes alone.” He looked at me sharply. “He comes with no guards because he thinks you dead. I will be forced to leave the royal castle upon his return. I have loyally served for a very long time, and he will not kill me because of our history, but he will know you are different and that something mysterious has taken place. I, like him, would never pass an opportunity to kill, especially a human. He will know instantly that something mysterious lurks within your soul.” He bowed his head to me slightly. “Do not share your name with him, Callie, I beg you. He is filled with more power and hate than all of the Unseelie monsters combined. The sole reason he remains a prince and not a king is because he detests everyone to the point of unemotional murder. To become king and relieve his mother, the reigning queen, of her duties, he must be bonded with another to ascend the throne, but he has callously killed every prospect to the point that we allow him to govern us as prince without ascending. Wars began after neighboring royals sent their daughters to the prince in the hopes of an alliance only to have them violently murdered.” He shook his head slightly. “You will need to fight if you are going to get out of here alive.” He was talking faster, the rhythm of his shoulder blades moving quicker as he paced in front of me.

“I can’t fight,” I whispered. “I’m just a human scientist.”

Fear misted across my skin once again, forcing it to pebble with goose bumps. Escaping this place seemed impossible.

“Fighting isn’t only with fists, Callie.” He flicked his tails, and the fire from the wall sconce glinted from the tips. “You’re a smart girl. Use what you have. I fear if you don’t, you will not last another night in your cell.”

The iron knob jiggled outside the door.

Prince Mendax was opening the door.

I stood, forcing myself to step in front of Shivers. I would not let him get hurt because he had helped me.

“Go now,” I ordered him with as much bravado as I could muster.

“You’re protecting me?” The large cat watched me as awe pulled his lower jaw down slightly to reveal more beautiful white teeth.

“You’ve spared me, so now I’ll spare you. Leave before he enters. Please, I cannot fight for my life knowing I have cost you yours,” I whispered to the cat.

The large lock twisted with the sound of metal scraping.

The door creaked open, and the prince stepped in, shutting it behind him. His head remained down, not yet noticing the strange duo that stood to the left of the room watching him.

“Did she scream Alist—” He turned and halted as our eyes met.