Page 51 of Cries of Cassie

I hum, enjoying the close quietness with him. It's been way too long since he's cared for me this way. Maddy always loved running baths for me and washing my hair.

"What are you thinking about?"

I close my eyes and wiggle back against him. He's hard again, but we both ignore it. "How much I've missed this. Missed you."

"Cassie..." I can practically feel his guilt and turmoil. I'm just not going to fix it for him. His choices are what's hurting him, and it's not for me to carry. "I'm so sorry. So goddamn sorry. I'm afraid if I explain why I did what I did, then it will sound like excuses."

"Then can I paraphrase and we move on?" I ask, wanting to hash this out one last time. I need closure for this conversation so I don't hold on to it and let it damage what we're building. We've been apart for way too long for this to hold us back any longer.

Humming, he tickles his beard across my cheek and nods. With a deep breath, I gather my thoughts in an attempt to control some of the overwhelming emotion that this man brings out in me.

"We were together officially for a year before you became president of the Shadows. Which is when it became apparent that you had a really big, dangerous issue—Victor. To protect me, your pea size man brain thought it was best to push me aside, but you know, fuck me once in a while because that's smart and healthy."

His grunt jolts me out of my rising anger at his stupid ass decisions he made for me. "Sorry. But it's true."

Another kiss on my neck this time helps me relax again. "Yes, it is, sweet girl. But please don't say that around Koa. Next thing I know, he'll be calling everything about me small."

"Anyway. You pushed me too far while you were trying to get club shit figured out, and I forced your hand. So you kidnapped me because of course your enemy was here when I was ready to rip your balls from your taint for not loving me properly."

Oops.

"No need to tense up, Cassie. You have every right to be angry with me."

Pushing up and away from him, I ignore his sudsy bare chest and glare. "But I don't want to be angry anymore, Maddy. I want to belong. Honestly, I never expected you to apologize. All I've needed is for you to include me and be honest with me. Like about the guys. If you would have told me when we were dating that you had three smoking hot men at home, I wouldn’t have minded.”

Now he’s the one to tense but his hand on my cheek is gentle. “Do you believe I was cheating on you? I don’t know why that never fucking occurred to me. God, I’m such an asshole. I was living in two different worlds. Cassie, you really shouldn’t fucking forgive me. Force me to apologize. Something. Please!”

Lord give me patience. Knocking his hand away, I slap my hands into the water, splashing him with my frustration. “I just told you I don’t want to be angry anymore. If I felt like you had cheated on me, I would have actually removed your balls as soon as the thought hit me.”

“They knew about you but you didn’t know about them,” he argues, trying to dig himself an early grave.

I fight not to growl. Maybe I should be pissed, but it’s hard to view his behavior as cheating because the moment I found out I knew the others were mine too. Hell two of them stalked me all that time too.

This needs to be put to rest. I can’t keep fighting the same point for the rest of our lives. “Stop Maddy. Don’t act like I don’t know my own feelings. Trust me when I say it didn’t bother me when I found out and it doesn’t upset me now. As soon as I realized, I felt like they were mine the entire time too. Well, except for Parker, but we’re good now.”

When Maddy opens his mouth and his brows furrow, I snap. “Maddy I swear to hell. Let. It. Go. I don’t feel like there’s anything to forgive on the relationship topic, okay? I’m happy you had them. I love knowing they were mine before I knew them too. This is all out of the ordinary, but I’m happy. Please, believe me when I say this is what I want.”

"Okay. Okay, Cassie," Maddy murmurs, reaching for me and tugging me back into his arms. "I hear you. For what it's worth, you've proved me wrong time and time again. You are meant to be one of the Shadows."

I push back again, needing him to know what I mean. "Not just as your old lady. I don't mind being referred to as Property of the Presidents, it's hot, but I want to be one of you in my own right."

"If that's what you want, and you've thought about it, I'll support you. I trust you, Cassie. No more cutting you out or choosing your path for you," he states the words I've been desperate to hear for seven years. "I love you. Do you hear me?"

"I—" Damn it, no more tears. "I love you too, Maddy. Promise me this: what you guys have going with Victor will be over soon. I don't like you guys being in danger."

"I promise, sweet girl. Then it's the five of us and our club."

Our club. I love the sound of that.

Chapter Thirty

Ripley (Ripper)

Now that Cassie is aware of the shit going on with Victor, it's like a switch has been flipped in all of us today. All it took was twelve hours for us to double down and figure this shit out so our woman never has anything to question ever again.

"Diesel!"

Our secretary's head shoots up immediately. "Yes, Pres?"