Page 90 of Septembers

“I’m going to…” He pointed to his room and slowly backed away from Dae, taking a page out of his book and sliding his hands into the sweater pockets, pulling it down to cover himself. “You should respond. He put effort into those pictures. You think that kind of lighting just happens?”

“I’m not sexting with Joon, Theo. You can stay.”

Joon. A perfectly sexy name for a perfectly sexy man. Theo shook his head, his shoulder bouncing painfully off the doorframe. “Ow. Fuck. Have fun!”

Dae had a protest on his lips that was overpowered by the forceful closing of Theo’s door.

This couldn’t happen. Not again. Dae had just gotten back, and Theo was already having lewd thoughts about his lips and what they could do wrapped around his⁠—

Stop it! He wanted to smack his dick for putting those thoughts in his head, but instead, he threw Dae’s sweater off, along with his underwear, and got into the shower before the water even began to warm up, hissing at the glacial drops, which did nothing to counteract the situation.

Just one more time. He’d stroke away the thoughts and the feelings that came with them just one more time. It was like a song that got stuck in your head; if you just listened to the whole thing, it went away. All he had to do was let the fantasy in.

He pressed his forehead to the shower wall as his hand sped up, his other hand dragging down his chest, imagining Dae was with him in the shower, imagining his hand was Dae’s, imagining his rough fingertips sliding over his nipple. “Fuck.”

He wanted to drop to his knees and take all of Dae into his mouth, wanted Dae’s hips to rock into him, wanted Dae’s hand tangled in his hair as he licked and sucked. He wanted to see him lose control and come while groaning his name, just as he’d done in the living room.

The pressure in his stomach exploded and he stroked himself through the pleasure, trying to clamp his jaw shut, but a whisper made it out anyway: “Dae.”

Dae’s face, his dimples, his smile. Theo wanted to see him panting and satisfied. But then his imagination turned Dae’s face into Nick’s—his smile, his satisfaction. Then it shifted to the look he’d given him at the door: disappointed and hurt. Broken.

Just like everyone Theo had ever been with. If they didn’t leave him first.

For a second, he’d almost forgotten what he’d done. Forgotten that he was trash. Forgotten that in no universe did someone like him deserve someone like Dae.

Violence in an Ikea!

Theo re-downloaded the hook-up apps. No more relationships. He clearly couldn’t be trusted with them. From now until his inevitable death-by-hilarious-mishap, he would engage in casual sex only. That was what he was built for. That was what he could handle.

“Do you think Jason and Caleb would agree to dress as Ninja Turtles with us?”

“Yes.” Dae plunked his plate, cutlery, and mug into the water in the sink and started to wash as soapy bubbles floated around him like he was a cartoon. Theo sat at the counter watching them until they popped. “October doesn’t even begin until next week; you’re already planning our Halloween costumes?”

“Jordan could pull off April O’Neil, and I bet Avery would be Splinter. She nerds out about this stuff more than Caleb.” Most of the costumes he scrolled past were plastic store-bought nonsense, but he saved a video on how to make one that could be fun.

“Are you really eating that stale croissant for breakfast?”

Theo closed his eyes and very deliberately bit into the crunchy, flaky, and okay, yes, stale croissant, humming in delight, and though he couldn’t see him, he knew Dae was shaking his head.

“Don’t complain to me when you’re hungry in Ikea.”

They needed shelves. It was all very exciting. “Do they have Ikea in Korea?”

Dae nodded. Theo had an intense urge to ask if he’d ever bought furniture with Beautiful Joon, but he squashed it. One didn’t ask jealous-sounding questions of one’s friend. Especially when one wasn’t jealous. At all.

The drain made a horrible sucking sound as it devoured the rest of the dishwater, and Dae wiped his hands on a towel, his skin pulling and twisting against the veins in his forearms.

Jesus. Theo shoved the rest of the delicious carbs into his mouth and nodded to the door. “C’mon, buddy.” Buddy??? Flecks of bread soared out along with his mumbled words. “Our shelves await!”

༻𓆪 𓆩༺

The subway was busy for early-afternoon on a Sunday, so they squeezed into corner seats and played word-association singer edition. Theo dominated, obviously. Dae swore that, next time, the category would be something like historical figures or news anchors, and Theo said he’d probably forfeit.

The train gently rocked their shoulders together, again and again. Theo knew Dae’s attention was on him, but he couldn’t turn to meet it because he had a hangnail that needed worrying.

It was bleeding by the time they reached their stop, but it was fine, sticking your finger in your mouth after riding the subway never hurt anyone!

Dae had done shelf research, so their mission in Ikea was completed fairly quickly. Theo put his elbows on the cart and pushed it along slowly, liking the smell of wood, compressed packaging, and whatever was wafting from the cafeteria. His attempts to get Dae to agree to a few statement pieces for the apartment all failed except for a lamp shaped like a rocket ship.