Page 51 of Septembers

“No. Fuck.” His eyes went wide, and he gagged, throwing his hand over his mouth. Not the most flattering moment of Theo’s life, but not the worst reaction he’d received after a drunken mistake.

“You shouldn’t swear. It’s unbecoming of a gentleman.”

“I’m going to…”

“Come on.” He helped him out of the shower, dripping all over the bathroom floor as they lowered to the toilet and Dae started retching.

“Don’t watch,” he gasped between gags. “Go away.”

Theo wrapped a towel around him and rubbed his back until it seemed the worst was over. Then he took him into his room and turned away as Dae peeled off the rest of his wet clothes and crawled into bed. Theo didn’t want to leave him, so he got his phone and claimed the other half of the bed, googling the position he’d learned in high school to prevent someone from choking on their own vomit.

Once he was sure Dae was safely slumbering, he just stared. He’d seen him sleeping before, of course, but there was something so beautifully vulnerable about it that he couldn’t look away: his cheek squished into the pillow, his lips slightly parted, the muscles in his face slack.

“Dae,” he whispered, knowing full well he was unconscious and wouldn’t hear him, “I’m sorry I was so stupid. I trust you. Of course I do. I don’t trust me. But I won’t pull away anymore. I won’t do that to you again, I promise.”

Dae answered with a light snore that Theo decided to take as acceptance. Then he snuggled into the bed, wrapping himself in the blankets and falling asleep surrounded by Dae’s smell, knowing he likely wouldn’t get the chance again.

༻𓆪 𓆩༺

“Theo.”

He was half awake already, adjusting to waking up next to Dae, feeling the warmth of his body and now hearing his scratchy voice. He squinted against the sun assaulting him through the window as Dae sat up and swung his legs off the bed, his back to him. Theo wanted to rub the tension from his muscles, but something about the way he’d said his name held him back.

“How’reyoufeeling?” Ugh, words were hard in the morning.

Dae stood and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. “Embarrassed.”

“You don’t have to be.” Theo stretched, arms over his head, toes wiggling. “We’ve all been ther⁠—”

Dae let out a strange sound, halfway between a grunt and a sigh. “Sorry, but I’m going home this weekend, so I have to get ready. Do you mind…?”

“Sure, yeah.” Dae hadn’t mentioned that this was a Hamilton weekend. And hadn’t he said when they were there for Chuseok that he didn’t know when he’d be home next? Was he avoiding him? Shit. Being on the receiving end of this weirdness was awful, and unlike Dae had the past year, Theo refused to accept it. “Um, you know, Min did say I should visit for a weekend to experience Hamilton in all its splendour. Want some company?”

Dae finally looked at him, the surprise on his face cutting Theo open. “You’d want to? Even after…” His cheeks flushed.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Everything was normal if they said it was normal, and Theo was ready to write a declaration in blood that everything was very fucking normal.

The tension drained from Dae’s muscles, and he grinned. “Okay, yeah, I’ll text Min. Actually, I think there’s an Art Crawl on right now. We could—” Theo’s phone buzzed and Dae stopped, watching him as he leaned to the bedside table to pick it up. “Who is it?”

“Rob from last night. The question is, which one was Rob? Handsy Booth Guy or Stubbled Lumberjack?” He sighed dramatically. “I really have to start learning names.”

“You’re going to message him back?”

“Sure. Both of them were intriguing in their own ways.”

“Right, yeah.” Dae’s voice was far away, and his eyes left the stratosphere completely.

“Hey.” Theo waved both hands from the bed. “You with me?”

“Min’s gone.” Not what Theo expected to come out of his mouth, especially with such force. “I just remembered.” Dae’s blinks were rapid, as if he was coming out of a trance. “She’s away this weekend at some fashion thing. She’ll be pissed if I bring you home when she’s not there.”

“Oh.” Lie. Blatant, obvious, weird lie. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There was nothing Theo could do but extract himself from the sheets and get up. “Okay, well, next time then.”

“Yeah.” Dae nodded, studying the floor with flawless focus. “Next time.”

Theo should’ve left, but something kept him standing in Dae’s room, staring at him just as he had the night before. The contrast between relaxed, sleeping Dae and this tense, pained Dae was excruciating. Maybe he’d been naïve to think they’d solved everything in a week. “Dae, is something wr⁠—”

“Be careful please.” His voice was cold, like the walls that protected him were covered in frost. “With that guy, I mean.”