Page 25 of Septembers

Dae pulled away, and Theo recalibrated to the situation: Caleb’s question, the party, the lack of Dae’s side pressed into his, and the slightly spinning room. Curly dark hair floated above the crowd, stalking towards him with alarming purpose. The boys had nicknamed his romantic adventures after he jokingly (mostly) told them not to get too attached to anyone he dated. Kabir had been a particularly steamy encounter that lasted six outings. A record.

“Theodore.” He gave him a saucy grin and then shook the hands of each of his roommates. “Can I steal him for a minute?”

Jason gave Theo an eyebrow wiggle that was unmistakably, Get it. “By all means.”

Kabir led him through the house and out the door onto the grass, where the air was only slightly less soupy. A few partygoers were huddled in a circle smoking, avoiding the annoyed glances from the neighbours across the street.

“This might be a bit awkward…” Kabir said, his eye-contact as intense as Theo remembered.

Awkward? Oh shit. He had an STD. Or he was in love with him. Or Theo did something terrible during sex, and Kabir had just worked up the nerve to tell him in order to spare his future sexual partners the horror.

“Stop me if this is uncomfortable,” he continued, “but are you and Dae together?”

Theo shook his head. Was Kabir trying to start something again? Theo was flattered, of course; he was one of the hottest men he’d met in real life, but he’d never successfully unfizzled anything that had fizzled.

“Is he dating anyone else?”

“Oh. Ah. No.” Not Theo. Dae. Of course he wanted Dae. Who wouldn’t?

“I was thinking I’d take a shot, if it’s okay with you.”

Theo’s laugh sounded weird to his own ears, but he didn’t know how to fix it. “Are you asking if I’m over you?”

“No, I’m asking if you’re into him.”

He laughed again, louder, more high-pitched, startling both Kabir and himself. “No, I promise, but just so you know, I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”

Kabir’s eyebrows rose and his annoyingly attractive deep brown eyes looked almost concerned. “I’m surprised you think so. I had a conversation with him last year where he told me he’s bi.”

What? Theo’s face burned in both panic and embarrassment. “No, yeah, I mean, yes, of course. I just meant, he usually prefers girls, even though…” He was bisexual. Dae. His Dae didn’t care about gender?

“Ah.” Kabir nodded like he didn’t quite buy it. “Thank you for letting me know. Do I have your blessing?”

Theo needed out of this conversation. “You don’t need my blessing.”

Had Kabir been this weird and off-putting when they’d hooked up? Why was he suddenly the most insufferable person on the planet?

“Still.” His soft head-tilt made Theo want to scream. “I would feel more comfortable if I had it.”

“Fine, yes, go, shoot your shot.”

Kabir smiled his brilliant fucking smile, patted Theo on the shoulder, then went back inside.

To hit on Dae. Because Dae was bisexual. Which Theo, his best friend, didn’t know. After a year. And now one of the hottest guys in the fucking universe was going to ‘take a shot’ with him, and it wasn’t going to be some cute group thing. Kabir didn’t do cute, Kabir did… Other things.

Which was fine, of course, Kabir could hit on anyone he wanted, and Dae could be hit on by anyone, so it was totally cool, one hundred percent not a problem. Theo was probably feeling weird because he hadn’t known about such a big part of his best friend. Why would Dae hide that from him? Had he been scared Theo would hit on him if he knew it was a possibility? Could Dae sense Theo’s attraction in those first few weeks, and decided to protect himself? Had he known, even then, that Theo was a complete disaster who would ruin everything?

He chanced a glance at the window where Kabir’s hand rested on Dae’s shoulder as he leaned in, his sultry smile transforming him into some kind of sex demigod. Theo couldn’t see Dae’s reaction, but he didn’t step away. Theo’s gut churned, like the booming, humid house had infected him. He took out his phone and texted the guys that he had a headache and was heading home but that they should stay and have fun, then added a wink emoji to prove how cool he was about everything.

Just so fucking cool.

The walk across the lawn was unending, the grass too soft and pliable, then the road too hard and unforgiving. By the time he got to their door, he felt like he’d walked miles.

The quiet of the house was suffocating after the noise of the party; the muffled music from across the street, the soft thud of his feet on the stairs, and his door closing like a punch to the chest.

He peeled his clothes off and dropped them into his laundry basket, not bothering with a shower before crawling on top of his bed in his boxers, despite the discomfort of his sticky skin. He needed to get rid of the gross feeling crawling through him, and he could think of no better distraction than release.

His hand slid down his chest, soft fingertips tickling and teasing as he imagined his usual standby: a nondescript, generic man kissing him, his neck, his chest, then dropping to his knees.