Page 129 of Septembers

“Uh huh.”

“Um.” His chest was tight. His breath too fast. His skin prickling. He was not his dad, he knew that. But he still felt like he needed to prove it. Still felt like he needed to show everyone in his life that he was helpful, reliable, and kind. Everything his dad wasn’t. “He needs my help.”

“I know.” Dae’s voice was back to normal, like his disappointment had run its course, and now everything was fine. He even gave Theo a small smile. “You’re a good son, Theo.”

Right. He was a good son. A good family member. That was what he was showing Dae. That was what he was proving.

And Dae would be okay. He’d worked on his social skills and confidence. He could definitely handle an hour by himself. And by the time he started to feel tired of talking, Theo would be there to pick up the slack.

“Okay then, I’ll meet you there.”

Dae nodded, gave him another stiff smile, then went into his room, closing his door behind him.

It was fine. It would be fine.

It took twenty minutes to get to his dad’s office in a taxi. If he could get in and out in an hour, he would probably hit some traffic on the way to the party. That would leave Dae alone for about an hour and a half. Assuming he’d go on time.

He arrived at his dad’s office and got into the elevator.

Im sorry about this.

Youre really ok?

still going right

Perfect Dae

Yes, I’m calling a cab now. It’s fine, Theo. I’m an adult.

Right. He was always telling Theo not to babysit him. Sure, Dae had only known most of those people for a month, and it took him a while to become comfortable enough to socialize. But he was in his element, right? They knew him as the guy who did his job well. Of course, there would be strangers there too. People he hadn’t worked with, people there to congratulate the cast and crew. He’d probably be too nervous to make a good impression. Anxious about making connections to help his career. Uncomfortable with the amount of new people. But…

But what?

The doors slid open, and he saw his dad at his desk, taking a huge swig from a cup of coffee. “Oh, Theo, great. I’m really drowning…” He froze at the sight of him. “Theo?”

The elevator closed. Theo didn’t move. Dae would never come out and say he needed him. Theo was supposed to know. He did know.

The doors opened again with his dad’s hand blocking them from closing. “Hey, come on. What are you doing?”

Exactly. What was he doing? “Sorry.” He pushed his hand away and jabbed at the ground floor button. If there wasn’t any traffic, he could be there in ten minutes. He ran from the building and flailed for a cab. It took seventeen years for one to stop, and Theo threw himself in, barked the address of the bar, then immediately apologized for his volume.

“It’s just important,” he said, probably too intense. “Can you go faster?”

How could he think of helping his dad with his latest fake crisis when the love of his life needed him? Aggressive jazz came through the radio, its sporadic beat picking into his ears. People walked down the sidewalk, cozy in their autumn cardigans, warming their hands on coffee cups. It was the exact opposite of how he was feeling, and he became irrationally jealous. How could they be so calm and content when he’d screwed up so disastrously?

His dad’s face lit up his phone, and he swiped it so hard, it felt like punching him. “Theo, what the hell⁠—”

“I can’t do this anymore.” His voice came out as a croak. “Dae needs me.”

“I mean…” His dad’s nervous chuckle scratched at his brain. “Sure, I wish I could be at a party right now too, but this project is important. How about this? We’ll set a timer for exactly one hour, so we don’t go over time.”

He felt sick. “I’m so stupid.”

“Theo?”

“All this time I was trying to prove…” He sucked in a painful breath, his throat burning with tears as realization hit. “But look what I’m doing! I’m letting down the man I love to do what? Help you?” The words clawed their way from deep inside him, scraping against his vocal chords on their way out. “And for what? You don’t care about me.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I⁠—”