Page 171 of Halo

“Help!” I scream. “Please!”

My voice is swallowed the instant it leaves me. There’s no echo, no ripple through the emptiness, nothing to prove I made a sound at all.

Can anyone hear me?

Is there anyone who can hear me?

God, where are You?

I'm scared.

I reach for the comfort I’ve found in Him my entire life, but I can’t feel it.

I can’t feel Him.

It's like there's a wall of thorns between us, as if the separation alone wasn't painful enough.

“Please,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be alone.”

This can't be real.

This can't be the end.

What was the point?

What was the fucking point of surviving the betrayal of love, of my body, of my own family?

Please, I'm not done.

I don't want to be done. I finally found a life worth living, a love worth fighting for.

I finally found me.

Don't take it away from me. Not now.

Not after I gave You everything.

My faith.

My trust.

My brokenness.

I believed I needed You.

Because I couldn't carry it all.

Because I needed purpose.

Because simply being me wasn't enough.

That apart from You, I was nothing.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound to save a wretch like me …

God, I'm lost, but where are You?

I can't see You.