Page 93 of If I Didn’t Have You

“I could say the same to you. Walking around in those skimpy shorts and wearing that fucking dress to the bar.”

“I only wear the shorts when I work out.”

“And the dress?”

She sighed, brushing her lips against mine. “It was for you.”

“For me? Then why the hell did you walk into the bar wearing that dress?”

Her body shook with laughter as she buried her face in my chest. “Because I wanted to make you jealous.”

“Well, it sure as hell worked.”

“Really? Then explain why when I looked over you weren’t paying any attention to me.”

“Because Sam and Deke were trying to keep me from walking over to Mav and Charlie and beating the shit out of them.”

A smile flickered over her face, and even in the dim lighting, I could see that blush staining her cheeks. The same fucking blush she got when we were kids and I was staring at her for what felt like hours. Desperate to see her smile back at me or kiss me.

Fuck, I’d always been in love with this woman, and the fact that she had to go to such dire lengths to make me see her again really pissed me off.

“So, tell me the truth, were you trying to kill me the day you rammed your car through the gym window?”

“Not even slightly.”

“Then what happened?”

Her face turned bright red, and she glanced away, picking at absolutely nothing. “I told you, my foot got caught.”

“Uh-huh.” If this was the way things were gonna go between us, we were in a shit ton of trouble.

Sighing, I sat up, tugging her back onto my lap. “Clara, there are things we need to discuss.”

“Why do I not like the sound of that?” She covered up once again, almost like she was shielding herself from my words.

“Things can’t go on like they are. I can’t fix things if I’m not here.”

“Has anything really changed?” she whispered, dropping her eyes.

I tilted her face up, forcing her to look at me. “I see now what drove you away from me. I get it, and I’m working on that. But you can’t push me away to protect yourself. That’s not how we fix this.”

She nodded slightly, her eyes still not meeting mine. “I can’t go back to where we were. And…I’m terrified that if I let you back in…”

“Honey, we’re married. For better or worse. That’s the way this works. You kicked me out and have pretty much shoved my face in what I’ve been fucking up. But now it’s time to fix what went wrong, and there’s no way in hell I can do that from a mobile home that keeps moving every fucking night. I miss my bed. I miss my wife. And I miss sharing my days with you.”

“I feel like maybe I should come before your bed,” she teased, chuckling shyly.

“You always come before my bed, as long as you’re in it. So, what do you say? Can I come home?”

The smile on her face dropped, replaced by something that made my stomach churn with fear. I knew I had fucked up. It took a lot to wade through the disaster I’d created to see what had pissed her off so much, but now that I knew, I wasn’t about to let her push me away any longer.

“Baby,” I whispered, brushing my thumb across her lips.

“Promise me things will get better,” she whispered. “Promise me we won’t go back to where we were.”

“I can’t promise I’ll be able to change everything, but I swear to you, I will do everything I can to fix what I screwed up.”

I held my breath, praying that was enough for her. There was so much we had to wade through, to sort out before we could completely fix everything. If she didn’t give me this chance, where did we go?