Page 40 of If I Didn’t Have You

“Where is your mother?” I asked Liam as I strode back out into the construction zone.

“She’s in town.”

“Every damn day,” I muttered under my breath. “For two weeks, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her except when I go to bed.”

His face twisted in confusion. “Don’t you talk to her?”

I ducked my head, not wanting to admit things were less than stellar between us. “Not lately.”

“Why?”

“We got into it, alright?” I rummaged through my tools, hoping he would end the conversation there, but instead, he just plowed through the invisible barrier I erected.

“Got into it over what? What could you possibly be mad at Ma for?”

“You know, she’s not as perfect as you all think,” I snapped, spinning around to glare at him.

“Nobody’s perfect, but it’s also not like the two of you to fight to the point that you’re not speaking.”

“Yeah, well, times change.”

Instead of dropping it, my boy forged ahead, angering me further. “Times do not just change. Pop, you’ve been going through a lot of shit, but whatever you did, you need to fix it.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault, right?”

“I’ve been married long enough to know that when Bailey’s pissed, it’s usually my fault. Most of the time, over something I didn’t even realize I did. And I don’t always understand it, but I do know that ignoring Ma and not talking to her is not going to solve the problems you’re having.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, son, but when I want your advice, I’ll give it to you.”

He scoffed, shaking his head at me. “This is just like you. No wonder she’s in town instead of here.”

I didn’t want to know. Well, I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to ask. How was it that my son knew more about my wife than I did? Was she talking to him? Was she telling him all the things she was doing, all the while giving me the cold shoulder?

I couldn’t stand not knowing, and worse, I hated that I was left in the dark on purpose. “Fine. Tell me what the hell she’s been up to.”

“I’m not sure I can tell you.”

“What?”

“I mean, I think it’s something you need to see.”

That didn’t make me feel better. In fact, it worried me. I had to see it? Was she climbing buildings? Baking in the town bakery? That would explain why there was no fresh bread at home for me.

So, I got in the truck and headed into town with my son, all the while imagining all the things my wife could be doing that she wouldn’t bother to tell me about.

“It’s not right,” I muttered under my breath.

“What’s not?”

“The fact that you know what’s going on, but I don’t.”

He glanced over at me from the driver’s seat. “Pop, what’s going on with you? It’s not like you to be so distant with Ma.”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Things haven’t been right between us for a while. I tried talking to her and making things better, but all I did was piss her off.”

“Yeah, we tend to do that. Did you bother to ask her what’s making her mad?”

I shook my head. “Son, I’m not sure there’s a single thing I’m doing that’s not making her mad. I’m doing what she asked of me. I’m building her damn addition. I even went to find her to show her the progress, but she’s not around. It’s like she doesn’t even care about it. Which I really don’t understand since she’s the one who told me she wanted it!”