Page 2 of If I Didn’t Have You

That was before kids. Before I ran away from my life at eighteen and decided to marry the love of my life. And I didn’t regret it, but I couldn’t seem to find myself anymore. I was lost, and I didn’t know how to fix that.

I had become boring.

I was grandma.

Tossing down the dishrag, I pulled off my apron and hung it on the hook. Ben was already gone, probably into the den to watch TV. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I needed a night out without thinking about all my responsibilities around the house and what I was going to cook for dinner tomorrow night.

Tossing my purse in the passenger seat, I headed into town to The Beaver and Boot. Surely my daughter would understand my pain and load me up with alcohol. I wasn’t sure how I would get home, but that was a problem for another time.

The music pulsed through my veins as I got out and made my way inside. I hadn’t been here in at least a year. Every time I came, Lizzy asked me to watch Willa, and because I loved snuggles, I always said yes.

Well, that wasn’t happening tonight. I was going to drink and have fun. Even if I was all alone and had no girlfriends to talk to. I should have thought this through a little more, but when I stormed out of the house, it was purely for the need to feel alive again.

A near-death experience would do that to a girl.

“Mom! What are you doing here?” Lizzy called out with a big grin on her face. “It’s not like you to come out in the middle of the week.”

“I just thought I’d come by for a drink.”

I took a seat on the stool at the bar and frowned down at my sundress that was a little matronly. Maybe I should have changed.

“This is perfect. Willa is driving me insane. She’s not going down, and I really need to get some office work done.”

“Actually, I just came by for a drink.”

“Right, but you can hold her while you have your glass of red,” she smiled.

“Actually, I was thinking about having a martini.”

Laughing, she pulled down a wine glass and poured me a red, sliding it across to me. “Right. I’ll go get Willa.”

That didn’t work as I planned, but as much as I wanted to argue, I hadn’t disagreed with my children about things like this in years. So, I took the glass of red and ignored the nagging feeling in my gut.

When Lizzy walked out with Willa, I tried to be happy, but I just couldn’t pretend tonight. I was so tired of always being the responsible one.

“Here’s Grandma!” Lizzy beamed, handing over Willa to me. My granddaughter immediately smiled, calming down from whatever tantrum she’d been throwing. “See? All she needed was Grandma hugs.”

“Yes,” I chuckled humorlessly. “Well, that is why I’m here. Not to drink, but to give hugs.”

“And that’s why we love you,” Lizzy grinned, completely missing my sarcasm. “Alright, I’m gonna be in back. Give me an hour, okay?”

Before I could tell her there was no way I was sticking around for an hour, she was shoving through the door to the back, leaving me alone with my granddaughter.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me, Willa.” I picked up my glass and drank about half of it, sighing as she wiggled on my leg.

Willa babbled to me, saying a few words here and there as she played with my necklace. I should have been more focused on her, eating up all the snuggles and kisses I could, but instead, I found my eyes wandering around the bar to all the younger couples enjoying a night out.

But then, my luck changed when Georgia Bennet walked through the door, looking just as determined as I felt when I came in here. Only, there were no grandchildren around for her to be bombarded with.

“Georgia!” I called out, flagging her down with my wine glass still in hand.

Chuckling, she took the stool beside me. “Well, I hadn’t exactly planned on spending my night with a two-year-old, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Believe me. Neither did I.”

JR came strolling over, his usual growly face perfectly intact. It was a wonder the bar still had customers with his delightful demeanor. “What’ll it be, Georgia?”

“Um…I think I’ll have a whiskey sour.”