Page 20 of The Killer’s Mark

‘Mainly,’ Bradshaw said. ‘I can show you how, if you want?’

‘Swell.’

‘When Poe says things like “swell” or “super”, he’s being sarcastic.’

‘Maybe show me later.’

‘OK.’

‘Tell me about yourself, Till-meister.’

Bradshaw frowned. Poe had said that Esmerée was a teenager and teenagers couldn’t be reasoned with. The more you used logic and well-considered arguments, the more they broke wind in your face. She decided she would ignore Esmerée calling her Till-meister. Anyway, it was an improvement on Little Miss Retard, the nickname Jonathan, a nasty pasty in the NCA, had once given her. When Poe had overheard him, he’d broken one of Jonathan’s fingers and had him sacked. No one had called her names since. She said, ‘What do you want to know?’

‘I dunno. The usual girl-talk.’

‘I don’t know what that is.’

Esmerée sighed in exasperation. ‘Like, do you have a boyfriend? What’s your favourite position in bed?’

‘My favourite position in bed is facing the wall so I can use my phone while it’s charging. And I’ve never had and likely never will have a boyfriend.’

‘You’re gay? That’s cool.’

Bradshaw frowned. She didn’t like this conversation at all. She wondered if this was what it was like being normal. If it was, the normals could keep it. ‘DCI Flynn is a lesbian, but I’m not. I’m not anything. I will never have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.’

‘Wow, that’s dark, sister.’

‘I’m not your—’

‘It’s an expression, Till-meister.’

‘Oh.’

‘But you’re kinda cute. And nerds are hot right now. I bet you could get a boyfriend if you wanted one.’

Bradshaw blinked in surprise. ‘Why would I want one?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. Companionship. Sex. Not being lonely.’

‘I have a once-in-a-generation mind, Esmerée. But being this intelligent is a blessing and a curse. There’s no one out there I could put up with. No one who could put up with me. I have the best friends in the whole wide world, so I’m never lonely, but I will always be alone.’

Esmerée kicked her heels together. ‘That kinda sucks.’

Their attention was drawn to the door and the crash-bang-wallop coming from the other side.

‘Should we …?’ Esmerée wondered.

‘Poe will be fine,’ Bradshaw said. ‘Now, let me show you how I run data when the variables are constantly changing. Poe says it’s black magic, but that’s because he’s as dumb as a physicist when it comes to computers.’

Chapter 14

Poe was halfway through the Viagra overdose porn clip. It was riveting. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the clip Esmerée had seen. The woman, who in Poe’s opinion had far too easily fallen for the old ‘I can’t get rid of my erection’ ruse, had got down to business almost immediately. No tattoos. Poe kept watching in case someone else joined them, although he reckoned whoever filmed this wouldn’t have had the budget for three actors. The two they had were scraping the barrel.

His office door opened in a hurry. The idiot with the badly spelled tattoo barged in. He had three idiot friends with him.

‘Oi, Poe!’ he slurred. ‘You think I’ve forgotten about you? Because I fucking haven’t!’

Poe closed his laptop. Sighed. It was all very … disappointing. ‘You get your tattoo fixed?’ he said.