Page 51 of Hades

I stood outside her door for a full minute before I knocked because I had no fucking clue what I wanted to say to her. For six goddamn days I’ve thought about nothing else but those words. I love you. Nobody ever said those words to me before, certainly not a woman and I’d been struck fucking dumb. I had no clue how to respond and thanks to all this shit with the Russians, I had no bandwidth to even think about it even though I hadn’t stopped thinking about it.

Even now I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I knew what I wanted to say, but getting those words past my lips was impossible.

The door swung open and Raven appeared, looking pale and more gorgeous than I remembered. Too much time had passed since I laid eyes on her and I drank in the sight of her for a long moment. The sadness swimming in those dark eyes hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. “Don’t worry,” she said, interrupting the tense silence between us. “I’m almost ready.” She pushed the door to close it, but my palm shot out to stop it.

“Raven,” I called out, stopping her in her tracks. “Can we talk?”

When she turned, she looked like she wanted to refuse me, but eventually she nodded and waved me inside. “Sure.”

“You don’t have to do this,” I insisted, determined that I needed to say the words. I needed her to hear them. “We can find another way.” We hadn’t found an alternative yet, because she was determined to do it this way.

She shrugged, her eyes sad and lifeless. “It’s already settled, Hades. I’m doing this.”

I didn’t like her words or the way she said them, like she was defeated and giving up. I fucking hated how blasé she was being about all of this, especially when she knew exactly what this asshole was capable of. “This is serious, Raven.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I do, but this is our best option. It’s happening.” She turned away and stood in front of the mirror, carefully applying a light layer of makeup. That’s when I noticed what I hadn’t before. Her hair was dyed brown and pulled back into a professional—boring—looking ponytail. Her makeup was light and natural, and her full lips were subdued in pale pink lipstick.

“What’s with the look?” She looked like some fucking Stepford bitch, and it made me uncomfortable.

Her eyes met mine in the mirror. “This is how Viktor likes it and he’ll be more relaxed if he feels like he’s getting his way.”

My jaw snapped shut and I ground my teeth together so intensely I was sure I’d loosen a filling. “You don’t belong to him anymore, Raven.” The thought of her submitting to him pissed me off and I felt the long fingers of jealousy grip me tight.

“I know that!” she snapped. “But he’s easier to handle when he’s happy. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” She tried for a smile that went nowhere near her eyes.

“About the other day,” I started but she shook her head. I pulled my lips in and sighed.

“Let’s not do this today.” Her gaze met mine in the mirror, full of sadness and hurt, before she flipped a switch and the blank look reappeared. “Have you talked to Falcon?”

I shook my head because there was no way I could tell her he wasn’t here yet.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I need five minutes to finish getting ready.” She turned back to the mirror, dismissing me as if the conversation was fucking over.

“Goddammit, Raven we need to talk and you’ve been avoiding me.” I hated the accusation in my voice, but I was hurt dammit.

She didn’t deny it, which should have made me feel better but it didn’t. “It’s best for everybody involved. You want me but only in secret and there are no secrets in this clubhouse. Or this MC.”

“That’s bullshit,” I growled and stalked across the room, spinning her around so we were face to face. “I want you, period. In secret. In the world. Every-fucking-where.” I gripped her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her so deeply I was sure I left a piece of myself buried deep inside. Our tongues danced together as if a whole fucking week hadn’t passed since I last tasted her. She was stiff at first, refusing to give in to what we both wanted, but eventually she gave in and kissed me back. It was like going back home after too much time away. Kissing Raven was exactly what I needed in this moment before she went to face this man who caused her so much pain.

I held her so tight I was worried I might not be able to let her go, but she pulled back first, blinking too fast before she looked away. Her eyes were glassy, but she was determined to be strong.

And that only made me love her more.

Love her.

“We’re not done talking about this, Raven. I know you don’t like it, but I have to do this my way.”

She shook her head, that damn straight ponytail mocking me. “It’s not how it has to be done, but I don’t get a say, so it doesn’t really matter. Story of my fucking life.” Sadness radiated off her and it hit me hard. Too fucking hard. “I really need to finish getting ready. I need to prepare for this, you know?”

I nodded. “I’ll be right outside.”

She said nothing so I left her alone to do whatever she needed to prepare herself to see Viktor again.

Ten minutes later she walked out in an off-white dress that hit just above her knee to complete the Stepford look. I hated everything about her look even though she looked gorgeous. And so fucking sad. “Let’s do this,” she whispered, and then with her head held high, she walked to the door and out into the sunshine.

The clear skies and sunshine should’ve made me feel better, but it didn’t.

I had a bad fucking feeling about all of this.