Page 71 of Souls We Rip

“So, you won’t stray away from your path. I did it to have you under my thumb and fulfil my wish of feeling something again. Because now, I cannot feel fully what I wish to.”

I swallowed my words because I had no energy to make him more miserable than he already was.

“I deserve everything you throw at me. Every word, every deadly gaze, every sigh,” he whispered. My hand stretched an inch forward. A soft fabric touched my skin, but this time, I didn’t cower.

I held my head straighter, pinning him with emptier eyes than his. “And what do you want to feel that is so important? That you would trick a girl into that wretched contract?” I whispered, the rage dimming. I felt his eyes roaming over my face, leaving flames in their wake.

He took a step back, letting the cold replace him. “Something changed between the moment you signed your name and today.”

“Yes, many things have changed. My conflicting feelings towards your world are one of them. Or my body missing the thump of a heart!”

“Spare me your words! You miss the thump of your heart? How about mine? Missing for centuries!” He came again into my space, sparring me with his words and eyes.

“You chose to be this! I didn’t!” My legs took me closer to him, my nose touching his, the darkness hiding my turmoil.

“Are you sure about that? Because I am not anymore…”

He wasn’t talking about me, that was for certain.

“What do you mean?” I whispered, my eyes searching his face.

And then I realised. He wanted to feel everything, from sorrow to joy, from love to hate, from anger to content.

“I must beg forgiveness,” he mumbled, the words barely coming out.

“And now, Goat Man… what stirs within you?” I questioned, placing a hand over his chest, the contact breaking me. For one moment, I wanted to forget this bridge before us. My faith and his nature. My soul and his sins.

Through the darkness, I felt his eyes on me. Taking a deep breath, he answered. “Shame.” He sighed. “Sadness.” The Goat Man swallowed. “Too much at once.”

I squeezed his shirt between my fingers.

Choosing a path was never easy. One could turn one's back on evil, touching the light. And one could ignore the warm rays of goodness and pass through shadows to join malice. I was right in the middle, looking each way. And every time I was next to this man, I felt my spirit leaving me.

“I want you to make a vow to me,” I said, the tone of my voice low.

His silence was answer enough for me.

“I want you to promise that you will never put me under your power again. Vow me this, and I will forgive you.”

The Goat Man took my hand and shook it once, gently.

“I vow all the above and more.”

Ana

The fourth soul

On the 7th of Răpciune, the Mirror showed me two women, drinking and robbing houses in a larger village, near the Danube.

Therefore, on the 8th of Răpciune, I set my skull aside and strutted out of the cave, alone.

Walking towards the horse to pet it, I remembered my last discussion with the Goat Man, before he left for the Iron Gates, to think.

“That’s not the way to do it, woman,” chastised Andrei. He watched me as I threaded the wool onto the loom.

I placed the cloth and checked the warps to make sure they would be tightly stretched, and began my work. “I’ve been doing this since I was a child.”

The ghost scoffed, looking around the room.