Page 77 of Learning to Love

"I'm sorry. That wasn't great. Tell me, what's going on with the case?"

"The prosecutor came in person to see us. He told me they would have a rock-solid case only if I would testify. He didn't think that mere pictures of my assaults would be enough. I didn't have to think about it, I told him yes. I'm scared, but I can't let him get away with what he's done."

"Is the trial still set for next summer?"

I gulp, willing myself not to cry. "It's been pushed up. It'll be this November. Benji keeps trying to escape."

She shakes her head. "Wow. What was your first thought when they told you that it was now in November?"

"I know this will sound crazy, but my mind was blank. I couldn't comprehend anything he said for a minute or so. Then came fear, followed by anger."

"Were you more scared of having to face Benji in court or the chance that he could escape?"

"I'm not, well, at least when I think about facing him, I'm not scared. I'm more eager for this to be over. However, the thought of Benji escaping terrifies me. Not knowing where he was before his capture kept me up at night. I don't want to feel that way again."

"Will you need protective detail?"

"No, not yet. The prosecution is not putting me on the client list until the last minute. After they do, I'll go into protective custody for the trial duration."

"That's got to be scary."

"Maybe I'm numb to the fact, but I'm not scared of that. I'm just hoping this will all be over soon. I want to heal. I want my trauma to change me for the better, not the worse."

"What's the word on Jeffery's trial?"

"I haven't heard any more details. As far as I know, It'll be in December."

"Will you have to testify in that one?"

"I will. I hope Jeffery gets the help he needs."

"Why aren’t you mad at Jeffery?"

I shrug. "I feel sorry for him. We are both Benji’s victims. Benji manipulated Jeffery and made him believe things that weren't true. Jeffery needs help and I want to make sure he gets it. He doesn't have anyone to help him. His dad left when he was very young and his mama is a junkie."

"That's not your fault. Why do you care so much?"

"I can't help but relate somewhat to his story. My dad left too, but I have an angel for a mother. I can't help but wonder what my life would’ve been like if she had become a junky. He didn't get the protection of a good family life. He doesn't have a granny Betsy Jean. I feel sorry for him and I feel a little guilty."

"Guilty? I'm sorry but I'm not following."

"I feel guilty because he was easy pickings for Benji. He was a desperate soul, and Benji used that to hurt him. If I hadn't danced with Benji in the first place, Jeffery might have never been a part of this."

"Dani. Don't do that. We can drive ourselves crazy with all the shoulda/coulda/wouldas in life. We can't live life like that. You will never know some things. It is what it is, and you can't let that drive you crazy. If not you, it would have been someone else. He was headed down a road of destruction way before he met you. Something bad would’ve happened with or without your involvement."

I nod my head. I’ll never know and I have no reason to feel guilty. "The fault lies with Benji, not me."

"That's right. I want to talk more about Benji next time. I want to hear full details about the kidnapping. It will be a hard session. It's bound to dredge up terrible feelings, but it's necessary for your healing."

I stand. "Thanks, Sonia. You've helped me so much already."

My phone starts vibrating. I answer as I walk out the door. "Hello."

"Hey, beautiful." I drop my bag. It can't be. How did HE get my number? I hang up quickly, and I run for the safety of my mom's car. I borrowed it for my appointment. I jump in and start the ignition. I scream as I see Benji sitting in the backseat, smiling. He's broken out of jail, and he's holding a knife.

Chapter 51

Where's Liam Neeson when you need him?