Page 56 of Learning to Love

I know Jake doesn't know yet. He's unplugged from the rest of the world for three more days. I need to get home before he finds out. He'll know Benji had something to do with my disappearance, and he will probably murder him.

Jeffery sets an empty plate in front of me and one in front of his seat. He's humming a song I've heard before, but I can't think of the name of it now. It's on the tip of my tongue. He brings the pot of spaghetti in next while still humming the song.

He sits down, then serves me two spoonful’s of spaghetti, helps himself, and then places a piece of garlic bread on both of our plates. He's very meticulous in his movements, and he likes order. Maybe he has OCD? We eat in silence for a few minutes. I'm ravenous. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. Jeffery is not a bad cook as far as easily manipulated evil kidnappers go. "This is very good, Jeffery. Thank you."

He seems well pleased. "You're welcome. Do you mind getting us both water from the fridge?"

"Of course not. I'll be right back." My instinct is to grab a knife and run out the door as fast as possible but I think this is a test. Jeffery wants to see if I'll do something crazy so I tap down the urge of my fight or flight response, grab the waters, and quickly return. He smiles his thanks, and all I want to do is cry. I'll do that once I'm alone again. I won't give him the satisfaction of watching me in all my misery.

I make myself eat a few more bites before my nausea is back in full force. I don't want to offend him. I'm not sure what I would do if he showed me the level of crazy that I think he is. This situation is terrible enough. "Do you want me to help with the dishes?"

"I've got it. Benji made me promise to treat you like a princess. Princesses don't do dishes. I'm treating you like royalty, right?"

"Oh yes, of course. You've been very nice, and I promised to tell Benji how sweet you've been. Remember?"

He smiles victoriously and the sight gives me chills. What the hell is happening right now. "You're right. You did say that. I want to make sure you meant it. Benji can have a nasty temper when someone pushes him to the limit. I watched him beat a man half to death for accidentally stepping on his new shoes."

My heart starts beating erratically, and it feels like it will beat right out of my chest. Benji is not only crazy, but he’s also violent. Bi-polar maybe? "Jeffery, promise not to get mad at me for asking my next question."

He shakes his head no. "No more questions."

I have to get him to talk to me. That's the only way he'll start trusting me. I have to become his second most trusted confidant. Benji has his hooks so far embedded in Jeffery that I'd never be able to procure the number one position. "Please, what else do we have to do? I'm not ready for bed yet."

"Benji said that we shouldn't talk a lot."

"I won't tell him if you won't. Benji probably said that out of jealousy because you're his best friend, and he wants to date me. It's just a little harmless conversation, though." I shrug my shoulders. I hope he can't tell how much I hope he takes the bait. He doesn't seem to be relenting on his resolve. "Jeffery, if Benji knew how lonely I was, would he change his mind about allowing you to talk to me?"

He shrugs. "Probably."

"Then what's the problem?"

He studies my face for a long time and I mask nothing. I want him to see how upset I am. That's the only way I'll get him to talk to me. "You're right. Sorry. What's the question?"

"Is Benji often violent?"

"No. I've only seen him lose control that one time. It was so hot."

That makes my eyes pop out of my head. Jeffery is in love with Benji. It's written plain as day all over his face. Not sure how I missed all the signs. He laughs, trying to cover the look of panic that crossed his face after the words freely tumbled out. "I mean, if I were a girl, I would have probably thought that."

Wow. First of all, if seeing someone almost kill someone else turns you on, you have issues. Second of all, he can have Benji, and they can live crazily ever after as far as I'm concerned. I pick my next question carefully because I don't want to make him angry. "I won't judge you, and it won't change my mind about Benji. Do you have feelings for him?"

He stares at me with an unreadable expression. I start to say I'm sorry for asking such a personal question when he answers. "Yes."

That's it, no other explanation. "Does he know?"

"Yes, but he doesn't feel the same way."

I reach over and grab his hand. "I'm sorry."

He jumps up. "Are you, though? You get everything I've ever wanted and I have to sit back and watch as the love of my life chooses some fat girl!"

Tears blur my eyes. He's scary when he's mad, and I've struck a nerve. I don't even care that he called me fat. I have nothing to lose, so I go for it. "I'm sorry, Jeffery. It's not fair, but I don't believe it's my fault. Benji did this to both of us! Please, don't be mad at me."

He sits down and takes my hand back. "I'm sorry, too. Life's not fair most of the time. It's not Benji’s fault, though. You're beautiful, and I should have never said that about you. Please, don't tell him."

I half-smile, still playing my part. "I won't. I promise."

I feel bad for Jeffery. Benji’s made him fall in love with him just so that he can use him to get to me. That's a new level of messed up. I take my plate to the sink and drop it in the dishwater. Even though he protests, I wash my plate and silverware.