Page 36 of Learning to Love

I smile. "Yes, please."

He smiles, clearly pleased with himself for getting it right. The Ferris Wheel is the last ride I went on with the sperm donor. You would think that would make me hate it, but it doesn't. That was the last happy memory of us. And while I don't want him in my life, that doesn't mean I won't cherish the memories of when it was good.

We show the guy our armbands, and he lets us through the gate. Jake whispers something to him, and the man gives him a wink and a nod yes. I look at Jake curiously. What is he up to? He smiles at me and gives me a wink of his own. He thinks he's so cute, and he is! He does have a panty-dropper-type smile. I don't drop my panties since I try to be a lady in public, but he better not give me that look when we're alone. I will not be held responsible for my actions.

"What are you thinking about?"

I blush and turn my head away. "Absolutely nothing."

He laughs. "Sweet Cheeks, I hate to be the barrier of bad news, but that blush clearly screams absolutely something."

I blush an even a deeper shade of red. "I'll never tell."

He puts his hand on my thigh and gives me a searing kiss which leaves us breathless. "Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best idea."

"Why?"

"Because now I've got to think about all sorts of gross things to take care of this little situation I find myself embarrassingly in at the moment."

My eyes almost pop out of my head, and I can't help it, laughing so hard. The bucket we are seated in rocks a little bit. He laughs too, which makes our bucket rock even more. "Has anyone ever told you that honesty is not always the best policy?"

"Hey, girl! Sharing is caring."

He's not only cute, but he's also pretty funny. I love how he's so carefree with me, even more than anyone else. He can be extremely intense in school and around other people that aren't his close friends.

"Well, I talked to my granny Betsy Jean today. She knows about us dating now. Toby's Mama is such a big mouth, and he told her about us dating, which she, in turn, spilled the beans to my family that I have a boyfriend."

"You didn't tell them?"

I look at him in shock. "You told yours about me?"

"My Mom and sisters know. So my Dad probably knows by now, too. Why didn't you want to tell yours about me?" He looks disappointed. I never meant to keep him a secret from others, but I guess I have been. That's not fair to him. I'm a little embarrassed about the reason, but I know I owe an explanation.

"I haven't told them because I was waiting for you to realize you didn't want me, and if I don't tell them when I’m happy, I won't have to tell them when I am heartbroken."

He looks angry and I've never seen him that way. "What more do I have to do to prove that I care about you. I've told you until I'm blue in the face that I want you and that this is more than just a passing fling for me."

I grab his hand, but he pulls away from me. Ouch. "I'm sorry, baby. You've done so much to assure me about our relationship. I've just programmed myself to believe I'm not enough, and while that's not a good enough excuse for mistreating you, I promise that stops today."

I take a deep breath and grab my phone. I change my relationship status on Facebook, and I tag him with a heart emoji on my Instagram bio. His phone buzzes, and he looks down at his screen in surprise. He accepts my request on Facebook. Now people won't have to guess who I'm in a relationship with, and all the nosey people can go full stalker mode on us both. I feel so much lighter, keeping this secret had me more stressed than I realized.

My phone pings, and I look down. He posted something on Instagram and tagged me in it. I quickly click on the notification. He posted a pic of us that we took one afternoon as we left Lit class. We're smiling and looking very much in love. Jake is tall enough to get all the best angles. I could love him just for that. Someone came up and started talking to us, and I forgot to even look at the picture.

I kiss his smiling lips. "Send me that picture! I love it. I guess we're officially official!"

"You better believe it, baby!"

I laugh. "You're my favorite."

"Obviously, and now everyone else will know it, too."

I look out at our beautiful view, it's a lake surrounded by a cornfield. The remarkable scene reminds me of home, and my heart feels a slight familiar tug. I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles. "This is beautiful."

"You're beautiful."

I give him my best smile. "Thank you." I gently whisper.

He gives me a sweet kiss. "I mean it."