Page 88 of Blue Line

“I knew it was kind of a long shot. But a few of the others that I applied for weren’t. Maybe I won’t ever get another job in my field. Maybe it’s time to give up trying to pursue photography as a career.”

My chest tightens.

“You’ll find something, eventually. I know you will.”

“Yeah, if I want to be a wedding photographer. And no offense to people who do because it’s a great job, just not one I want. But it might be my only option at this point.”

“Anything I can do?”

“No.” She pulls away from me, and I reluctantly let her go. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” She runs a hand over her face.

“What about starting your own freelance business? Didn’t you do a little bit of that earlier in the year?” I remember Holt telling me how she went out to Ocala to take photos for a woman who rode horses competitively, and that she helped Madison redo the photos on her website. “I’m sure there’s a market for it.”

“Maybe. I’m sure I could string together some jobs for a while, but it’s not enough to live on, to support myself long-term. I mean, I do have the money from Holt for nannying, although I told him I didn’t want it, plus there’s the money coming from the endorsement deal, but eventually that will run out.”

I frown. “Hadley, I gave you a credit card for a reason.”

She pats me on the chest. “I can’t let you support me while I live in the lap of luxury and don’t work.”

If she’s not sold on starting her own business and wants to have a job, maybe the team does need another photographer. I never did ask the front office. Can’t hurt to ask them, right?

She was great with me and the other guys when she was photographing us. The players and staff on the team who know her love her. Probably a plus that she’s related to one of the players and dating another. It might even mean that she would travel with the team. So I’d get to see her all the time. A win in my mind.

I keep the idea to myself. I don’t want to get her hopes up if it doesn’t work out.

“No one said anything about you not working, although if that’s what you want, I won’t complain. I’m telling you not to let finances stand in your way of figuring out what you want to do with your life. Don’t let money be what forces you to give up your dreams. I have plenty of it.”

“I appreciate that, but I still need to find a job, figure things out for myself.” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “You mentioned something about tacos?”

I hate that she’s changing the subject, but I’ll let it go for now because I know she’s had a hard day.

“I’ll get them. You sit down.” I pull out my chair for her before grabbing a plate and setting out the tacos I brought home for her. I grab a glass out of the cabinet. “Water? Lemonade? A beer?”

“Water, please.”

“How was your workout?” she asks when I set the plate and her drink in front of her.

“It was good.” I proceed to tell her about the drills I ran with a few of the other defensemen who showed up as I was finishing warming up.

I really want to talk to her more about her job situation and make sure she understands that I’m serious about taking care of her while she figures her career out. That I still want to take care of her after she figures it out. That I want her for forever. But I won’t right now. I can tell she’s still a little on edge. I’m not sure if it’s from falling or from the rejections, so I won’t say anything. But soon.

Because Hadley Jane Abbott is my future.

I just hope she feels the same way about me.

Chapter thirty-four

Hadley

I try to relax and listen to Wes tell me about his afternoon at the arena, but my mind keeps drifting back to our conversation about him supporting me financially. Like I told him, I appreciate his willingness to do that, but I can’t take him up on this. I need to find a job, figure out a way to make money. I want to be able to support myself.

It’s nice being able to count on him, and that does ease a little bit of the anxiety, but I still want to be self-sufficient. I don’t want him to think I’m with him just because of his money and the life it allows me to lead. I want to feel as though I’m contributing to the relationship financially, or at least pulling my own weight. Would he really care one way or another? Probably not. But I do.

Maybe it isn’t even about the money, but more about needing to know that I’m good enough to land a job. That I could land a job if I truly needed to.

“Hadley?”

I blink out of my thoughts. “Huh?”