Page 30 of From Scotland with Love

“Come on best man. My wife -” He stopped and hooted again. “My wife!” The men around him cheered with abandon. “...My wife wants us on the dance floor, but we need to do shots first!” He pulled a reluctant Callum away, and Lori was frozen to the same spot, watching him re-enter the hall with the boys, his head turning back to look at her as the door closed behind them.

She shivered in the cool evening air, not trusting herself to go back in just yet for fear of not resisting the desire to pull Callum to her and have her way with him there on the dance floor in front of everyone. She thought about Michael and the life they had together. What is our relationship to him? He was using the excuse that she had been lying to him, and for some reason that meant for him a straightforward conclusion – things were no longer the same, and they needed to readjust their parameters. Weren’t relationships by their very nature supposed to be difficult, full of the unexpected, and requiring flexibility from both sides? What was she to do, she had already apologised, what more did he want? For the last three years it had been her who had fitted in with his take on life, with his schedule and his social circles. But had that been, underneath it all, to further her own ambitions? Was Michael just convenient? Lori let down her hair and breathed out. A part of her felt sad, seeing so many flaws in their relationship for the first time, as though examining a favourite painting at close range, and discovering the perspective was all wrong. Michael and her were different, too different. For him, they had been on a break all this time - free to re-evaluate their lives, and he didn’t seem to see the issue in this, he didn’t even have the courtesy to make it clear to her, leaving her wondering and hesitating. It was all so confusing. Well screw him. She didn’t need Michael; all she was to him was someone to have dinner with from time to time. Everything was planned, appointments were made and kept to. They would never meet spontaneously, and the sex and the passion had dwindled away as the months had passed, as she now recounted their intimate moments together. Lori decided to take a step back from her thoughts, and resist making any big decisions. Tonight was Tam and Alan’s night.

Once she had felt sufficiently cooler and somewhat more sober, she walked back into the hall, making sure to steer clear from Callum the rest of the evening. Just in case.

17

Lori was due to go back to New York in the coming days, and she was determined to leave whatever feelings Callum stirred in her to one side, and devote her remaining time to her nieces. She crammed in as many activities as possible, like baking overstuffed butterfly cakes, swimming in the sea, endless Disney movies and spilling popcorn all over Bracken, then venturing out into the nearby woods in search of fairies. The woods held special memories for Lori. As a girl she would explore the mossy banks with her sisters, and make dens out of fallen leaves and branches, living in their own fairytale. It was in these magical places that she wanted her nieces to know. As the afternoon light shone through the cracks of the old forest branches, they played hide and seek together, darting behind trees and trying not to stand on the newly sprouted mushrooms that were sprinkled across the mossy grass. Lori’s heart soared with each giggle, but with the passing moments she knew this would be over all too soon. The little girls were changing, growing up, and these times together would not last forever. Lori led the two girls up further past the forest to where she would often go as a young girl. The trees thinned, as they walked over a stone bridge and further up a grassy path, which took them onto an exposed landscape surrounded by hills.

“Why are there clumps of rocks dotted about?” Anne panted, staring up at her auntie. They looked out over old ruins in-between the green bracken that carpeted the hillsides.

“This was an old settlement. People lived here many years ago, these rocks were once homes.”

Maggie grabbed Lori’s hand. “Like, families would be here?”

“Yes, many families. A community lived here, they would work the land with sheep and cows, and eat porridge and sleep by fires to keep warm at night.” She looked down at their grave faces. “Has your mum never taken you here before?”

The two girls shook their heads quietly.

“It’s OK, there’s nothing to be afraid of! It’s a peaceful place.” Lori regarded the remains of an old existence, imagining what it was like when people were here before they were cleared off the land and the clans were broken up. Another sad episode of the Highlands, haunting the hills with a whisper. “The people from here were moved away, or had to leave. Many of them left their homes forever, going to Canada, America and Australia.”

“Like you, auntie Lori?” Anne asked, taking Lori’s other hand.

“Yes, like me.” Lori looked out and took a breath of the fresh mountain air. “But I had a choice.” Suddenly Lori felt a pain in her chest. The people that once called this place home had been dragged away, their villages torched, starved into loyalty to the Crown, or driven away through rifts between their native peoples, and here she was, never appreciating her background, her upbringing, even feeling ashamed of it. Michael and his opinions could go to hell, he did not understand her at all. Lori bit her lip and took her nieces back down the hill, before her emotions betrayed her.

“Did you have a nice time on the hill?” Gran cuddled her two great-granddaughters on the front porch, welcoming them home. “If you go into the kitchen there’s some of the fairy cakes still on the table”. Maggie and Anne clamoured past Gran without needing any further encouragement. Gran turned to Lori “You OK?”

“Yeah, course!” Lori smiled stepping inside. “Why d'you ask?”

“You just look a wee bit sad.” Gran didn’t wait for an answer, but led Lori to the kitchen where Maggie and Anne were licking the icing off their cupcakes.

A knock came at the door behind them. “Hello!” Callum stepped inside, carrying several large bunches of flowers. “I’m sorry for being such a crap best man, I was meant to give the bridesmaids and the grandmother these flowers yesterday! I’m a bit slow!” He approached Gran and Lori with a bunch of roses, mingled with wildflowers each, then left another bundle on the kitchen table for Jean.

“Aw thank you, aren’t they beautiful Lori?” Gran nudged her and Lori nodded shyly.

Maggie pulled Callum’s arm “Do you want a cupcake?” She pointed to the stack in the middle of the counter, Anne having just nicked another one thinking no one had seen.

“Yes please!” Callum opened his hand as Maggie picked one for him, dusted in pink glitter and laid it in his palm reverently.

“Auntie Lori took us up to the fairy wood and then a creepy glen,” Maggie announced to their guest.

“It’s not a creepy glen!” Lori retorted, “it was up High Arlour, the old clearance village.”

Callum nodded. “We used to go there a lot when we were kids,” he confirmed, looking a little solemn.

“You knew Auntie Lori as a kid? Like when she was our age?” Anne devoured her cake, yellow icing still left on her upper lip. She went in optimistically for another, but not before Gran slapped away her hand from the tray of delights.

“Ah uh, you’ll have no room for your tea!” She winked.

Callum glanced at Lori. “I did, we didn’t know each other too well though as children. We didn’t play together at school you see. But we knew each other very well as teenagers.” He chuckled, and Lori’s face went red.

“OK, what shall we do the rest of the day!” She clapped her hands, eagerly changing the subject. “Shall we go into town, maybe see the ferry boats come in?” The two girls expressions showed less enthusiasm than Lori had hoped. “Maybe if you’re good and have a run around, we might get you both an ice cream...!” Maggie and Anne nodded far more vigorously at the promise of treats, and ran to get their coats again.

At the insistence of Maggie, Callum came along with them, and spent the rest of the day walking beside Lori while the girls ran along the harbour, and tried spotting whales and ferries simultaneously. Lori didn’t want to inwardly acknowledge what pleasant company Callum was, but it was difficult. They drifted in and out of the crowds and popped into some of the shops with the girls. The day had started out with a hearty dose of sun, but now the sky had grown darker and before they knew it, torrential rain began to flood the town and everyone scattered for cover. Lori had parked on the outskirts of the town, now regretting her decision as they remained in a craft shop, watching the rain slamming into the windows from outside.

“Bugger!” Lori said under her breath. “How long will this last?” she looked up at the dark sky. Callum stood near, his arm lightly grazing hers.

“You know my place is around the corner, why don’t we go there until the rain stops?”