Page 8 of On The Edge

“I know, I actually met your mum Barbara before I caught the ferry. I’m Cat. I’m over here for some time, I hope, and your mother told me to look you up. I hope you don’t mind!”

“Of course not! I need more girls my age around here! Oh bless mum, how is she?”

“Busy I think. That café was packed when I was there. She was lovely, it was really nice of her to tell me about you, just so I had someone I could go to….” Cat suddenly felt strangely upset. What had she done? She had left everything, she had nothing now – no one in her life, no Johnny, no Dave, no Shelley.

Jess looked at her intently. “Of course. Well as you can see there are a lot of older people here, not many people our age. What are you doing tonight?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t made any plans,” Cat shrugged a little.

“OK, let’s meet tonight! I’ll show you what this town has to offer,” she said in a mock-American accent. “Oh - and do dress up, it’s not every night two gals are on the town!”

Later that evening Cat was in her room getting ready, having stocked the fire with logs and placed the bluebells in a vase by the window, she looked around her space and sighed happily. Her suitcases were unpacked and stowed away under the large bed. She had managed to put all her clothes away in drawers and in the large white wooden wardrobe beside her bed. Cat kept catching her reflection in the wardrobe’s mirror; her newly cut and dyed auburn hair had transformed her. Her natural loose curls were cut in a beautiful style that flowed to her shoulder, the colour of the auburn bringing out her green-blue eyes. She was meeting Jess in the hotel bar downstairs in ten minutes and she had changed her outfit five times already. Finally she decided on a knee length fitted black dress that she wore with boots. The weather was cold and windy tonight, and so she thought this attire most suitable in case they ventured into the chilled night sea air.

Jess was at the bar laughing at a punch line of the barman’s joke. Her hair was still pinned up, but she was wearing a red ribbon tied over her head. Her lips matched her ribbon, as did the tiny flowers covering her deep blue dress. Cat was aware of a few people turning around and looking in her direction as she timidly walked up to the bar.

“What’s it to be Cat?” nudged Jess.

“G and T, please”

“You heard the lady, Jim,” Jess said in a silly posh voice.

Jim winked at Cat and set to work.

“Hey, you look beautiful!” Jess looked Cat up and down in awe and gently touched her newly cut hair. “Your hair is stunning, your eyes look so…big!”

“Thanks, I think!” Cat laughed at Jessie’s choice of words.

The drink arrived and Jess lifted her glass. “Cheers my darling. May this be a great night, filled with lots of …” she struggled, bit her lip and giggled. “You know, I don’t know a proper toast? At this stage of my life as well!”

Cat cleared her throat dramatically and said in her broadest scotch:

“May the best ye've ever seen,

Be the worst ye'll ever see.

May a moose ne'er leave yer girnal

Wi' a tear drap in his e'e

May ye aye keep hale an' he'rty

Till ye're auld eneuch tae dee

May ye aye be jist as happy

As we wish ye aye tae be”

She raised her glass and drank. Jess stared at her in amazement, then started sniggering as Jim clapped his hands with delight from behind the bar.

Cat blushed but gave a little bow. “When in doubt, Rabbie Burns will help you out.” She smiled, but her throat suddenly went dry as she remembered it was her mother who had taught her the famous Baird's toast.

“I’m impressed!” Jess stated heartily, and repeated, “May ye aye be jist as happy, as we wish ye aye tae be!” She raised her glass also and drank.

The two girls enjoyed each other’s company for the rest of the evening. After eating a very filling meal in the hotel dining room, they ordered coffees and sat talking about their respective childhoods.

“...I was so bored with the wide open spaces of nothingness; I wanted to see people, see attractive boys! The only boy I fancied in my area was my big brother's friend, and he was married by eighteen! I had to get away, so London called me and I answered with open arms.” Jess went on about her college life in London and all the exciting times and creative people she had met there: “Everyone was either successful in fashion, photography or film, it was quite inspiring…but there was a lot of people working so hard all week, that they went crazy at the weekend – taking drugs.”

Cat wasn’t sure Jess was as hushed as she meant to be, as two old ladies wearing tweeds looked up unimpressed at the loud gossiping girls. Jess continued paying no attention to their quiet tutting. “There was a fakeness to people there that I hadn’t noticed earlier. That lifestyle was not for me, and I was too afraid to stay around in case I became the same! So I packed up my bags, went home to mum, and luckily, found a studio space after much searching. Since it was only a ferry-ride away from mum I took the opportunity. It’s the best feeling having my own business. Who knew people wanted to buy art on such a small island!” Jess sighed brightly and drained her coffee. “What about you Cat? Where did you grow up?”

Cat was never any good at talking about herself, she always preferred listening to others, asking them questions. She found strangers much more interesting, and would try to steer the conversation away from herself on most occasions. But she felt perhaps this was not the time to do that.

“Well my father left when I was a little girl, so he's not been in my life at all, really. I don’t know anything about him apart from the odd thing or two my mum would say about him. Sometimes she would catch herself, she would be doing something else – like, baking a cake, and she'd smile to herself, saying how my dad used to act like such a kid by eating the cake mixture before she'd put it in the oven.” Cat drank her coffee, allowing herself to think of her mum again, the beautiful, caring, kind woman who had always put Cat first.

“Mum and I lived in Glasgow. After my grandparents passed away it was just us two.” Cat smiled, and noticed that the tweed ladies had gone, and it was just Jess and her left in the warmly-lit dining room. “She would take me to the beach, to museums... and we would have picnics. She loved the outdoors, so every weekend we would do something together. Then I went to art school. I loved it so much. It made me feel free in a way; I can’t explain it. Once I finished my course, things came crashing down on me with mum passing away, so I – well, I needed to get a grown up job.” Cat had blinked at the words that came from her mouth. She never shared this much of herself usually, perhaps it was the gin having an effect?

Jessie took Cat’s hand. “I’m so sorry Cat, what an awful thing to happen. I don’t know how I’d cope if ...” Jessie stuttered a little, and Cat gave her a smile.

“I know, it was a difficult time. But these things happen.” Cat played with the corners of her napkin, folding and refolding the edges. “So after that I met Dave, got an office job, paid the bills and thought acceptance was what was expected from me. A normal life.” Finishing her coffee, Cat sighed and relaxed a little more. “But then one day I found a magazine article about this place, this remote island, and that night I broke up with my boyfriend, and packed my bags, and the next day made plans to come here! Quite a risk, I've never done anything like it before. To be honest, I don’t know how things will turn out, but so far it’s the happiest I’ve been in five years. That stifled feeling I had is gone.” Suddenly the words hit her and she began to laugh, “That feeling is gone.”

Jessie lightened the mood tactfully. “Perhaps you left it on the ferry!” she giggled quietly.

“Perhaps I did,” Cat agreed, and the smallest part of her brought back a thought of the kind barman with green eyes and the glass of water.