Page 84 of A World Enough

“It’s what we call our mothers in Ireland,” Brogan said.

“Okay, got you.”

“My ma was the Alpha, until she stepped down for my brother. She was getting to be older and wanted to spend more time with my da, and the grandcubs.”

“You brother has kids?”

“Yeah, two boys and two girls. He married the perfect wolf. I adore her, everyone does,” Brogan said.

“So your brother’s older?”

“Yes, he was always going to be the next Alpha.”

From what little Camber knew about wolf packs, there were rarely two dominants in one family. “Two dominants. Is that usual in a family?” Camber asked.

“It doesn’t happen very often. Normally nature doesn’t put two dominants in the same family, it causes too much friction.”

“And you are very dominant,” Camber said.

“Am I?”

Camber saw in her mind’s eye that Brogan’s fur puffed up in pride at that comment.

“Uh…yes.”

“Well, yes, when we were children, we were always fighting for the upper hand. I love my brother, I love all of my family. As we grew up and he began to be trained by my ma, and his duties started to increase, and it was clear his best friend was going to be his second, I felt kind of out of place. A dominant wolf needs a job.”

“Yeah,” Camber said, “I can’t imagine you with nothing to do. You’d go crazy.”

“I couldn’t find that in my pack, or at least I thought I couldn’t. There was a lot of tension between me and my brother, and my ma. I felt I had to find my own path,” Brogan said.

“Is that when you left?”

“Yeah, I’d been working on my art for years, so I told my family that I was leaving to study art and open my own business, as a tracker and private investigator. They were sad to see me leave but knew that I wasn’t happy.”

“Did the distance help?” Camber asked.

“Yes, but it increased the sadness. Every wolf longs to be with their pack, but I was also yearning for my place. I couldn’t work out what it was.”

Maybe it was here with me? Camber thought.

“You know, it’s weird. I’ve never talked to anyone about this before.”

Camber reached over and put her hand on top of Brogan’s. “It’s good to get your emotions out. I know it can be difficult for a dominant wolf to do.”

“It’s part of our make-up,” Brogan said. “We can’t show any weakness to an adversary. If we do, the pack could be at risk. That’s why I found art so helpful. No one could tell it was my way of controlling emotion.”

Camber ran her thumb up and down the back of Brogan’s hand. “I’m not here to judge you, or make you feel any less of a wolf for that. Tell me what happened next.”

“I was doing well, selling my art, and also growing my tracking business. I bought a loft apartment which doubled as a studio for my art. I let customers come to view there. Married women with rich spouses—”

“Oh, it was like that, was it?” Camber said with a smile.

“Not all the time. But I did have a sex life that made me feel even lonelier afterwards. I think I was looking for what my brother and my parents had.”

It was more than Camber had. She could have never trusted anyone, made herself so vulnerable. In the end, Brogan’s varied sex life and her non sex life left them in the same position—lonely and longing for their person.

Brogan said, “I eventually met this one girl. We were dating. I was trying my hardest to make it feel different from brief affairs with women. At the time, it was my brother’s thirtieth birthday, and the pack were planning a big party. I was getting a lot of pressure to come home. I don’t blame my family. My ma and da wanted to see me, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I felt going home, I’d be on my own again. No mate. I felt like a failure.”