Page 61 of Be More Octopus

They heard a vehicle pull up on the drive.

'I'll go.' Lucy seemed keen to get downstairs quickly.

Em lay thinking about what Lucy had said about Lars and, of course, Jack.

'Our chef has arrived,' Lucy shouted up the stairs. 'He wants to run the menu by you, Em.'

She could hear giggles from her fellow non-hens. Up to something, obviously.

'Coming!' Em yelled.

The sight that greeted her at the foot of the stairs was an interesting one. Their chef was at least six foot four, square-jawed, with mid-brown wavy hair neatly combed back and deep brown eyes. He looked as if he spent all his spare time in the gym. He was sporting a white chef's hat and a full-length apron but, judging by the reflection in the mirror behind him, he wasn't wearing anything else.

'Karl, at your service.' He smiled and bowed his head.

'Hi, Karl.' Em had a fixed grin on her face. 'Lucy. Can I have a word?'

'I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.' Karl gave her a come hither look as the other women trooped after him offering help.

'I thought we agreed no strippers,' she whispered to Lucy.

'Technically, he isn't a stripper. '

'He's stark bollock naked under that apron.'

'Yeah, but he didn't strip. He arrived like that.'

'Isn't it a health and safety issue, cooking naked?'

'I don't think he does much cooking. He only reheats things. Anyway, the agency said he's insured.'

'Against what?'

'I'm not sure. Fire, flood, STDs??'

Em rolled her eyes. It was too late to do anything about it, and she had to admit Karl was easy on the eye. They headed towards the kitchen.

'Oh, and we're not allowed to touch him,' Lucy said as they walked along the hallway.

'Why did they need to say that?'

'I think being touched up is an occupational hazard. I did tell the others when we booked him.'

They walked into the kitchen, where Karl was surrounded by her friends, who all appeared to have turned into his adoring fans, particularly Charlotte, whose hand seemed to be on Karl's left buttock.

Em whispered to Lucy, 'I think you need to remind them.'

Karl proved to be excellent at reheating the pre-prepared dinner, which was delicious. He remained the perfect gentleman as he expertly dodged a few drunken wandering hands and posed for photos. And he could mix a good cocktail. Em had to admit he was making this evening a great start to the weekend.

Lucy clocked Em eyeing up Karl. 'Am I forgiven?'

'Yes, but it still feels a bit uncomfortable with everyone letching at him. If they offered a service where men were ogling an almost naked woman, there would be outrage.'

'It's just a bit of fun. He doesn't seem to mind.'

'It is quite distracting.'

Karl caught Em looking at him and gave her a wink. It might have been the effect of the mojito she'd just downed, but she was starting to fantasise about what he would be like in bed.