Page 44 of Courting Elizabeth

“No.”

I took my seat.

He remained standing near the window.

“When Miss Bennet went to London last winter, she tried to see Bingley’s sisters.”

“I know.”

“Bingley, however, knew nothing of her presence.”

I stopped breathing.

“How could he not know?”

Fitzwilliam turned toward me.

“Because I didn’t tell him.”

The joy of a few minutes earlier shattered.

“You knew Jane was in London.”

“Yes.”

“You let her wait for a visit that could never come.”

“Yes.”

“And you watched your friend suffer without telling him she was only a few streets away?”

“I was convinced I was protecting his future.”

I stood.

“Your conviction has a remarkable tendency to make others suffer.”

He did not defend himself.

“I know.”

This simple response defused some of my anger, which only irritated me more.

“Why confess it to me now?”

“Because your opinion of me must be founded on what I truly am, not on the most convenient version of my faults. The truth is more serious.”

“You could have kept silent. Jane is happy, Mr Bingley is returning, no one would have known.”

“I would have known.”

I walked to the fireplace.

“So you demand my forgiveness to ease your conscience?”

“I demand nothing. I want your opinion of me to be founded on what I truly am, even if that truth costs me the esteem I am still trying to earn.”

What he was fighting to win.