Page 14 of Courting Elizabeth

“You'll recover enough to announce it to the entire parish before dinner,” Mary murmured.

For once, she wasn't wrong.

The wait lasted less than a quarter of an hour. It felt longer to me than the journey from Hunsford.

At last, the door opened. My father stood on the threshold.

“Lizzy, come see me.”

I rose.

Mr Darcy appeared behind him. His face revealed nothing, but his hand clenched once against his thigh as I walked past.

In the library, my father closed the door.

“Mr Darcy has just asked my permission to marry you.”

“I rather suspected as much.”

“That reassures me. I would have feared he'd gotten the wrong daughter.”

I smiled, but his gaze remained grave.

“You've consented?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I had prepared myself for this question. I discovered I had prepared no answer likely to satisfy the man who had known me since birth.

“Because I believe I was mistaken about him.”

“That is not a reason to marry him. That is a reason to offer him an apology.”

“He loves me.”

“That is an excellent reason for him. I am looking for yours.”

I lowered my eyes to the carpet.

“I esteem him more each day. He acknowledged his mistake concerning Jane. He kept his word to Mr Bingley without waiting to learn whether you would consent to our marriage. And he listens to me, even when what I say displeases him.”

“Do you love him?”

My father would not have asked Jane this question with the same concern. He knew, however, what I had always affirmed. He knew above all what loneliness could grow in a marriage where esteem faded.

“Not as Jane loves Mr Bingley,” I replied.

His face shuttered.

“Then refuse him.”

“I don’t want to refuse him.”

This truth burst out before any other.

My father studied me.