Page 23 of A Raven Repents

“We give them the tools they need in order to have agency over their own lives.” As he spoke the words, his conviction faltered.

“And did you give your wife that?”

Slowly, he looked down at his hands and shook his head. “No.”

“That’s why I sent her the money. I had a feeling you hadn’t thought to leave her with any. And without it, she becomes a prisoner. Even if the prison is a very lavish one.”

He raised his eyes to meet Ash’s. “She redecorated my whole bloody house. Flowers and pastels everywhere.”

Ash chuckled. “Good.”

“It’s not good,” he said irritably.

“At least she’s still there, and hasn’t left you yet.”

He wanted to argue and seethe about how she’d trapped him, but he was starting to wonder if perhaps he was on the wrong side of the argument. As usual, Ash was probably right. She was his wife, after all. Regardless of how it got started. “I’m not going to be able to just pretend like it isn’t real forever. Am I?”

“I’m afraid not. But is the prospect of having a marriage with her really so bad?”

“I don’t know anything about her.” He couldn’t help the smile that tipped his lips just a bit. “She’s feisty, though.” And beautiful, if he was being honest with himself. He chuckled. “She threw a pillow at my head.”

“Surely the least you deserve.”

He looked up at Ash and nodded. “Did you send me up to Glenwood knowing I might somehow find my way home?”

Ash shrugged. “Take the night off and get yourself in order. Then you can go back and start groveling.”

“I know I was out of line the way I came in here, but please don’t take this away from me. I need this place.”

“I’m not. But I can smell the booze on you from here. Take the night off.”

“I still shouldn’t have come in here the way I did.”

“I knew how angry you’d be when you found out I’d sent her the money behind your back. But once a woman becomes a part of this family, she’s protected by all of us. Even from others of us, when necessary.”

The words were like a knife in his gut. How had he become that? “I’m sorry, Ash. I know I’ve built up an entire mountain of mistakes recently.”

“We all make mistakes, Giles.”

“Even you?”

“Especially me. Why do you think this whole place exists?” He gestured to their surroundings.

“I don’t know. I suppose I never really thought about it. I assumed it just started as a lark with three friends.”

Ash shook his head. “It was never a lark. Don’t get me wrong, I think we all enjoy ourselves here. But for me, it was always an attempt to try and balance my ledger, and make up for some of the sins in my past. Not that it actually works that way, but you have to start somewhere.”

“I’m going to turn this around, Ash. Somehow. Even if I don’t have the faintest idea how to be a husband.”

Ash nodded. “I’m counting on it.”

Not until he walked into his townhouse, did Giles realize he’d left Thistle behind. He groaned. He hadn’t wanted to return to Glenwood and face Michael. Hadn’t wanted to endure another inevitable beating, even if he did deserve one.

He stared at the bathtub. He’d never had to fill it himself, but surely he could figure it out. It couldn’t be that complicated, could it? At least here, there was running water. He didn’t have that in his country home.

He filled the tub, then went back down to the kitchen to boil some water. Apparently, one kettleful wasn’t nearly enough, because the water was barely this side of frigid when he climbed in. But it would have to do. His consequence for being a coward and a selfish bastard.

He kept it brief, but even still, his body shivered as he dried off, the incessant pounding in his head made only worse by the cold. He climbed into bed, curled up on his side, and pulled the blankets over his shoulder. If he could just sleep, things would be better in the morning.