Page 32 of When It’s All Said And Done

“And how long he been home?”

“About six weeks.”

“And y’all been just coparentin’?”

“I mean…”

A knock at her door grabbed my attention. I looked over at her to see if she had any idea who that could be. When she shrugged her shoulders, I got up to check and see who it was.

“Nessa, open the door,” Yas demanded.

“Yo’ ass stay poppin’ up,” I chuckled as I held the door open for her to enter.

“You forgot I got yo’ location. Hey, Ms. D. What y’all up in here doin’?”

“Just talkin’.”

“Yeah, she’s lyin’ to me ‘bout standin’ on her boundaries with Nas being out,” my mom chimed in.

“She damn sure is lyin’,” Yas laughed as my mom joined.

“Y’all I am serious,” I huffed. “I am with Desmond and Nas has to respect that.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Yas giggled. “Nessa, I need you to stop being delusional.”

“Listen, I came over here to spend time with my mama, not be in the hot seat ‘bout my life decisions.”

“Oh, that’s exactly what we’re ‘bout to do so get comfortable in the hot seat,” my mom clarified.

We sat over there for a few hours catching up. I made sure to keep out the fact that we’d just had sex the other day, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My body yearned for his touch again and that session along with the first one lived rent free in my head. My heart and mind were conflicted as I dealt with the weight of cheating on my boyfriend with my baby daddy. It felt like no time had passed between me and Nas when we were together, and that’s what scared me the most. Because so much time had passed and so much pain had accompanied that time. It wasn’t until Desmond came along that I felt safe and secure again.

With Nas in the streets still, I was still hesitant to even consider a possible future with him. He upgraded our lives due to him being in the streets but the lingering feeling of him being snatched away ran rampant in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, the urge to go back to Nas grows every day, but I do my best to stick to my boundaries. As a single mother I need a sense of security and that’s something I don’t feel with Nas. Which I felt maybe for the best and a sign for me to get my relationship back on track with Desmond.

“Oh, bitch you’re stressed out for real,” Yas stated as she walked up on me while I sat in my car smoking a blunt.

“Girl, if only you knew,” I stressed before releasing the smoke.

“Tell me wassup. I could tell you were holdin’ somethin’ back.”

“I can’t ‘cause you gonna whoop me.”

“I ain’t gonna whoop you. Just tell me.”

“I fucked Nas again.”

“Oh, you just givin’ it out,” she gasped. “Y’all fucked again?”

“Yessss. That’s not the kicker.”

“What else happened?”

“This nigga brought me the house right next door to him.”

“I know you fuckin’ lyin’ bitch!”

“I cannot make this shit up. Yasmine, what am I supposed to do? Desmond can’t come to the house for safety reasons let Nas tell it, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place tryin’ to keep shit ‘bout Nyla only with Nas, and my relationship that was just so secure a few months back is hangin’ on by a fuckin’ thread. So, yeah, I’m stressed and I’m trying my damnest to get some order back into my life.”

“Nessa, there’s only one way you can do that.”