Page 36 of Worth the Risk

Her entitlement comes from your apathy.

Zoey’s words rang in my ears, and I knew that she was absolutely right. It was possible that I had developed a habit of trying to keep the peace with people no matter what when I was younger. When you were a teenager in foster care, it was a given that no one wanted to take you in. So, I learned to be accommodating to everyone, doing whatever it took to make my foster parents like me, even if it was at the expense of my own happiness.

Even then, I was shuffled around a lot.

So, I just became even more indulgent of other people’s wants and desires. I learned that in order to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach, I needed to make sure that I didn’t make waves, didn’t piss anyone off.

I truly thought that I had outgrown that way of thinking a long time ago. I was thirty-three years old, after all. A lot of time had passed since I was in the system.

But maybe it wasn’t so easy to let go of lessons learned the hard way in childhood.

It was no excuse, because nothing could justify allowing Zoey to be hurt, but at least if I understood my own way of thinking, I could try to do better in the future.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I opened my text thread with Delilah. Scowling, I deleted her picture right away. Then, I typed out a message that I should’ve sent a long time ago.

Don’t send me a picture like that again. I don’t want it.

I hit send, then decided I wasn’t clear enough. So, I sent another message.

We will not be getting back together. I’m already involved with someone.

I wanted to tell her that I was actually in love with someone else, but it didn’t feel right to tell anyone that before I told Zoey herself. Whether she’d want to hear it remained to be seen.

Seconds after I sent that second text, my phone rang. It was Delilah calling me. For a split second, a small voice in the back of my mind spoke up, telling me that it was smarter to stay on her good side, that I would pay for this if I didn’t make it right.

It was the voice I’d listened to many times before, but I recognized it for what it was now. An old survival instinct.

I couldn’t keep repeating the same pattern. So, I rejected the call. Then, because I knew how tenacious she could be, I blocked her.

It wasn’t a permanent solution, but I’d already gotten my message across and until I was back in Chicago, I didn’t need to deal with her further. My focus now was entirely on Zoey.

Getting dressed in jeans and hiking boots, I headed downstairs where everyone was meeting for the hike. I expected some people to skip it because they partied too hard last night, but it looked like pretty much everyone had come.

The group had grown quite a bit since our arrival on Monday, some wedding guests coming a day or two early. So, there was a large gathering in front of the resort.

I stuck close to Zoey when we headed into the rainforest. It was so different from the sandy beach that it felt like stepping into a different world. The trees were tall and blocked out most of the sunlight, but it was still hot and humid. Instead of the cries of seagulls, my ears picked up the buzzing of insects and the small sounds of animals scurrying through the underbrush.

Zoey started off chatting with Angela, and I moved into place beside them, listening as Angela told Zoey that she thought Heather was acting strange, almost secretive, which seemed to really bother her twin.

Zoey didn’t say much, and I knew her well enough to be able to tell that she was hiding something. I couldn’t imagine what it might be because as far as I knew, Zoey didn’t know Heather well.

Zoey shot me a couple of annoyed glances as I lingered, and I knew that she wasn’t past her anger from last night, but I also didn’t back off. I just stuck by her side, steady and unobtrusive. She said she didn’t know what I wanted and I was determined to show her today.

The problem was that after too much tequila and a terrible night’s sleep on the beach, even keeping up with Zoey’s easy pace was exhausting, and we were only thirty minutes into this hike. I’d heard our guide tell Ryan that we were going to a cliff and it would take a little more than an hour to get there. Cursing myself for overindulging last night, I forced myself to keep walking.

Then, Angela moved ahead to walk next to Leanne for a bit, and Zoey looked at me properly. She frowned.

“You’re not looking too good.”

I wiped sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand and gave her a smile. “I’ve always appreciated a woman who can be brutally honest.”

Zoey’s mouth curved even as she rolled her eyes. “After seeing you drunk last night, I didn’t think you’d come today. Figured you’d be sleeping it off.”

Sleep sounds amazing right about now.

“I knew you’d be here.”

She looked around, just like last night when I called her Angel. I hated it.