Page 30 of Miss Trust

Tory

Idisconnected the line before I could hear any more of Chance’s conversation. Guess I knew now what he did while he was in Vegas. I told myself I didn’t care if he had a woman calling him baby. But I certainly didn’t wish to listen to it in action.

“Mommy, can we get McDonald’s?”

I smiled at Penelope while buckling her into the back seat of the Escalade. I’d promised she could have a Happy Meal after her appointment today. Considering she had chemo starting soon and wouldn’t feel like much of anything after treatment, I wanted to get her anything she might be craving for lunch. It might be a while before she enjoyed food again.

“You bet. Cheeseburger, fries, and apple slices with milk?”

“Yes. And something for you too.”

I hesitated as was my habit when it came to spending money on myself, but today I could actually afford it. “I think I’ll get a cheeseburger.”

Her eyes went as wide as her smile at my response.

She’d been such a trooper throughout the appointment. In fact, she’d taken the news she’d had to go into the hospital for the next month better than I had.

The treatment was back to square one. We were about to start what they called the induction phase of chemotherapy. This time around, they would increase the dosages and add some new drugs to the chemo cocktail. The doctor had taken nearly thirty minutes with us to answer all of my questions and ensure we were fully incorporated into the Children’s Hospital system. I hadn’t been ushered down to the financial department like they’d done at the last hospital a year ago. Without coming out and saying it, the doctor had made it clear he didn’t think they’d been aggressive enough previously in her treatment plan. He’d given me a great deal of hope about beating it during this go-round.

The pressure in my chest was eased by having medical insurance. Of course, the necessity of staying in the hospital for the next month magnified my guilt over not earning my keep with Chance. Perhaps I could work some nights at his club with Carmen if Daisy could come and stay with Penelope in the hospital. But in my opinion, a few nights of accounting assistance still wouldn’t be enough to even the score.

I’d have to see how it went. “You okay with a taco dinner?”

“Yes with the mangos.”

Later in the day, after Penelope was down for her nap, I took a walk to the edge of the property and looked out over the ocean. From here I could I breathe in the salty air and let the tears run down my face.

Please let this treatment work. Please let this be it.

I needed to pack our things for the hospital stay. Clothes for Penelope, books, her comfort items. There’d be a television in the room, but even with cartoons available, it was tough to keep her from getting listless. At least this time we knew what to expect. I took a look at my phone app to see her sleeping in her bed. My poor baby. Although logic told me I couldn’t have done anything to prevent her leukemia, I still felt immeasurable guilt. As if my poor life choices were somehow to blame.

I blew out a breath, recognizing it was useless to spend energy on this slippery slope of blame and guilt. I’d been down this road, and it served no purpose other than to make me feel like a shitty mom and a shitty sister. I had enough daily reminders of why that might be true without purposefully dwelling on it.

“You doing okay?” Mona inquired when I walked into the kitchen. She was having a cup of tea.

“Yeah. I’m hanging in there.”

“I plan to come by the hospital a couple times a week to give you a break.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t, and it would be my pleasure. No offense, but even children get tired of being around the same person all the time. It’ll give you an opportunity to come by the house and shower, do laundry, or take a walk and have a good cry.”

I could almost cry again now. “Thank you.”

“You need anything more tonight? I can help you pack.”

“Nope. I’m all set, but I appreciate the offer. Also for offering to come to the hospital. Having some time to simply take a shower means a lot.”

She patted my arm. “I’m happy to help, my dear.”

After Mona left, I spent some time in the kitchen chopping chicken and cooking it before peeling mangos and slicing avocado. I found the activity soothing to my worried mind. Penny had woken, and when I peeked into the living room, I could see her singing along to Frozen II. She seemed more than content with the large-screen television and plush sofa.

I turned at the sound of footsteps, shocked to see Chance walk in. “I thought you were in Vegas.”

He was dressed in a suit and looked as if he’d come from the office. “I was. I decided to leave early.”

How unexpected.