Page 119 of Tell Me Something

“That’s fine. Take your time. Do you need help with the move? Are you shipping out some more things from California?”

We were being very civilized about this, but instead of feeling pleased, I felt sad. “I’m stopping off on my way to Australia to find out what I want to ship out. I’d like to bring some items to furnish my apartment. Not the antique stuff, but the couch, bed, et cetera.” God, I was rambling on with details that he wouldn’t care about.

“I’ll pay for the move.”

I waved him off. “No, I mean you’ve been generous enough and—”

“It wasn’t a question.” Agitation flashed in his eyes.

“Okay.” I blew out a breath and opted not to fight about this. “Thank you.”

“So that’s it?”

That felt like a loaded question. One which I was going to avoid. “Yeah, unless you can think of anything else.”

“Nope, I mean you seem to have everything all set. You know if you want to leave sooner, you can. You don’t have to give a whole month’s notice.”

“I, um—did you want me to go sooner?” Now it was my turn with the loaded question.

“I was only suggesting doing so if it’s easier for you. I know you’re anxious to get onto your new life.” His voice betrayed some emotion.

I softened. “This isn’t easy for me.”

He stood up and walked over to his window, refusing to meet my eyes. “Really? Because it sure seems like it is.”

I wrestled with what to say. “We both knew this day was coming eventually.” I fought the tears, not knowing how he was feeling. I didn’t even have a finger on the pulse of my own emotions.

“You’re right. Uh, if that’s it, I’ll let you email HR. I need to make a few phone calls before heading out to my next appointment.”

He shifted back into work mode. I realized the best way to avoid breaking down was to do the same. “Of course. I’ll leave you to it.”

By the time I’d scanned my letter and made it to my desk, the tears were coming down. I knew I was doing the right thing. If it hurt like hell now, it would only devastate me in the future. Especially if I counted on him always to be part of that future.

“Haylee, I—”

I jumped at the sound of Josh’s voice and saw that he’d opened his door and was staring at me.

I held up a hand as he moved toward me. “Don’t make it harder,” I whispered, meeting his eyes.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he replied quietly, pulling me up from my chair and enveloping me in a hug.

He stroked my hair, and we stood like that for a few minutes until I could get a handle on the tears.

“What if I take a look at the train schedule? I could take my plane up to see you, too, but Mark has always said the train is faster. We could do every other weekend. Maybe you could come to New York sometimes, too. I know you need to study, but you’d have breaks and—”

I pulled back, completely shocked. “What are you saying?” My heart was beating double-time and I felt the panic before he even said it.

“I’m saying I’m not ready to end things. I could give you a hundred reasons why you don’t need law school, but I know you’re set on it. The bottom line is New Haven isn’t that far away.”

“But we put it out there from the beginning that this was short term. We want different things.” He’d been adamant he didn’t want marriage or kids, so why would we continue with a relationship knowing this? As much as ending things hurt, prolonging the inevitable would be worse.

He looked frustrated. “Tell me, then. If you’re so sad at the thought of it ending, why don’t you want to continue?”

I swallowed hard, feeling like I was being put on the spot. “Josh, we’ve never even been out on an actual date. You don’t want people to know about us, and you’ve never let me meet your family. Colby was the exception because he found out. Also, you don’t always share what’s happening in your life. Not to mention there’s the dating other people thing. I’ve accepted all of that, even when it hasn’t been easy, because our relationship was only temporary.”

He sighed. “For the record, I haven’t gone out with anyone since New Year’s Eve. But I think I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?” I asked carefully.