Page 32 of My Twin Sister

If I’m being completely honest with myself, the only time things were good between us was when we were sneaking around in dark parking lots and taverns out of town.

“What’s wrong?”

I look over at Wyatt, surprised. “What? Nothing.”

“You’re crying.” He leans toward me and puts his hand on my back.

I wipe my eyes. I hadn’t realized I was crying.

“Sorry,” I say. “I’m okay.”

“You’re clearly not. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it your dad?”

“No,” I say. And it’s not. But as soon as he mentions my dad, a fresh wave of loss hits me out of nowhere.

I can’t call him or go over to his house when I need to get away. He’s not here to make me a grilled cheese sandwich and chicken noodle soup because I hate tomato soup. He was always a good dad, but he really stepped up when Mom died.

“Then what is it?” Wyatt asks.

I take a breath and then it spills out. “I’m worried we’re not in love and now that Grace is back you’re going to regret making a life with me and want to be with her again.”

He sits back like he’s been slapped. The tears come full force now. He scoots closer to me and pulls me into his chest.

“What are you talking about, Gen? I love you and I love our life together. Grace and I were in love when we were kids. We don’t even know each other now.”

I mumble into his shirt. “But you wanted to be with her and not me and then she was gone and you didn’t have a choice.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me away so he can look at me. I hang my head, ashamed that I’m sharing my innermost insecurities.

“I had a choice. Every day, I have a choice. And every day I choose you and our family.”

“But we barely spend time together. You sleep on the couch. I can tell you don’t want to be here.”

He shakes his head. “Things aren’t perfect between us. We both know that. But I haven’t left. I’m still trying.”

“And now that Grace is back, maybe you don’t want to keep trying. Maybe you feel like you’ve tried enough.” My voice is louder than I mean it to be, but it’s all coming out and I feel unable to stop it or slow it down.

“What are you talking about? You’re acting like I did something wrong and mad at me for shit that’s happening in your head.”

“It’s not in my head!”

“It’s one hundred percent in your head, Geny. I haven’t done anything wrong. I came upstairs to sleep when you asked me to. I haven’t even had a real conversation with Grace even though she was my best friend and I lost her too. And now she’s back and I haven’t so much as hugged her because I can see you watching every small interaction between us.”

His words are a shot to my gut. Because they’re true. Because I hate them. Because part of me hates him.

“If you want to talk to her and hug her, do it. Don’t let me stop you.”

“Genevieve.”

I stand and walk away. He doesn’t call after me. He doesn’t come after me. He just lets me go, and I wonder if this is the start of the end. If I’m driving him away before he can make the choice to leave. I never liked letting him choose. He always chooses wrong.

Twenty-Two: Grace

The bar is busier than I thought it’d be. I can hear the music from outside the door and I realize I’m craving something like this and I need to be careful. Tonight isn’t about getting wasted and forgetting my demons. Tonight is important. I need to stay in control.

The smell of smoke nearly takes me out when I step inside. I forgot they still allow smoking inside here. I also forgot that people still smoke.

I scan the room as I walk to the bar and take a free seat. I’ve been inside before, but only briefly when Mrs. Grant from across the street asked me to run down here and tell her husband that she was going into labor. Cell phones weren’t common in those days. Especially here. Raven is always behind in tech.