Page 27 of The Happy Family

The nurse writes down all the results of the various tests she has conducted on me before going to leave. But just before she can, I have to find out if my plan has worked.

‘Am I staying here for the night?’

The nurse turns back.

‘Possibly. We’re not quite sure what is wrong with you yet, but we’d rather not have you leave in case you get worse. Is that okay?’

‘I suppose it’s sensible,’ I say, feigning some sadness that I won’t be going home to my own bed this evening. But inside, I am delighted. Now all I need is everybody to leave me alone so I can do what needs to be done before the morning comes.

‘Seriously, don’t worry about Jude or me or anything else,’ Reid says to me. ‘We’ll all manage. The main thing is that you are feeling better, and if a night’s rest in here is what you need, so be it.’

‘I’m not sure how much rest I’ll get in here,’ I reply. ‘Hospitals are hardly the perfect place for sleep.’

‘I’m sure you’ll sleep a lot better without Jude waking you up,’ Reid says, smiling slightly before looking concerned again. ‘You had me really worried out there in the corridor when you collapsed. I thought I’d lost you.’

Again, I feel terrible for putting Reid through this extra stress because he has been under more than enough pressure lately himself. If only he knew that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. Well, nothing physically, anyway. But mentally, I am freaking out, and it’s all because Sadie might open her eyes soon and tell everyone who I really am.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say to him.

‘You have nothing to be sorry for,’ Reid replies firmly, just as Jude wakes and starts to grizzle, probably hungry, or just fed up with the bright lights and noise in this hospital.

‘Maybe you should get him home,’ I suggest. ‘He could do with a feed and then putting down in his crib.’

‘I don’t want to leave you alone here,’ Reid says.

‘I know, but you’ll have to. You can’t stay all night. They’ll tell you to go home at some point. You might as well go now and get Jude settled. I’ll be fine here.’

Reid looks a little lost, and it could be that he’s worried about being the only one responsible for our son when he gets home. Sure, Arthur and Ruby will be with him too, but he’s the only adult, and with three children to look after, it’s a lot for anyone to have to do.

‘You can do this,’ I say to him, giving him the confidence that he might need. ‘Super Dad.’

Reid laughs, a little nervously, but he also looks like he knows he has to step his game up now and make this work. So that’s what he does. He gives me a kiss goodbye and allows me to do the same to Jude before leaving me, but only after I have to promise him that I will let him know when there is any news.

I assure him that I will, and one other thing I could have assured him of is that soon, there will be lots of news coming from this hospital. But it won’t be about me and my ‘medical condition’. No, it will all be about another patient here.

The patient I am staying here with overnight.

The patient who is still in her coma but showing signs of waking up soon.

The patient who I will ensure never opens her eyes again.

EIGHTEEN

REID

I hate having to pry my children away from their mother, especially after there has been the first positive news in months regarding her condition. But as optimistic as the doctors might be about Sadie at the moment, nothing has essentially changed. She is still in her coma and she could be for a long time yet, so for those of us who are conscious, life needs to go on. That’s why I need to take my children home and get them to bed so they can be ready for another day of school tomorrow. It’s not going to be an easy task because Ruby is holding on tightly to her mother’s hand, Arthur is sitting with his grandparents, eating snacks, and I’m trying to stop Jude from crying out for his mother.

It would be easier for me if I just let us all stay here.

But as a parent, you can’t always take the easy option.

‘Come on, guys. I won’t ask you again. Put your coats on and let’s go,’ I try one more time, wishing my children would just comply but feeling my frustration grow when they don’t.

As much as I hate having to do this, I am also hating that I am having to do it alone. But that’s the case after Luna suffered some kind of medical episode in the corridor here and has been assigned a bed for the night while she undergoes a few tests. It was frightening to see my girlfriend collapse right in front of me, and I am just glad she came back around quickly. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Luna and not just because we have a newborn to take care of. It’s because I love her deeply and the happiness she brings to my life would be sorely missed if anything happened to her. Thankfully, she seems okay, or at least the doctors and nurses aren’t panicking over her anymore. She is clearly worried about what might be wrong with her because she pushed to stay here overnight to undergo testing. I’m no medical expert, but I am certain that the fainting episode she suffered is simply down to the stress of recent months, coupled with the news today that Sadie might wake up. Luna’s brain has obviously reacted in an adverse way to that information, going into panic mode, triggering a fight-or-flight response that led to her body briefly shutting down in that corridor.

That’s okay. It’s perfectly understandable. I wouldn’t expect Luna to be thrilled at the idea that Sadie could wake up soon. I just wish she would admit it, rather than pretending like she might be suffering from some virus or condition that caused the blacking out. I understand that she might be reluctant to accept and admit that Sadie leaves her in a scared state, but she does not need to be. I’d rather she was honest with me rather than brave, but either way, I can see the truth. Luna is frightened of what might happen if and when Sadie wakes up. I will make sure that whatever happens, there is no way that my ex-wife can get anywhere near my current partner again, let alone do her any more physical or psychological harm. I’ll see to that, and if the situation requires me to bluntly warn Sadie to stay away from us, so be it. I’ll do whatever it takes to look after the woman I love.

‘Arthur. Ruby. Come on. Let’s go!’ I say, my voice louder now and far more tense. I’m starting to lose my temper, and my children won’t like that when it happens. I won’t like it either, but they’re still not doing as I ask of them and Jude is still crying and I’m still here in Sadie’s hospital room, listening to the beeping machines around her bed and feeling the glare from her father, who clearly hates me and everything I seem to stand for. At least Sadie’s mum is being reasonable.