Page 35 of Hearts & Embers

"I don't think anybody really can. I went back to work because that's what people expected me to do. Everyone kept telling me time would help, and eventually it did. The problem was that helping wasn't the same thing as healing."

She listened without interrupting.

"I kept moving forward. I built a life, made friends but never allowed them to get close, and convinced myself I was doing fine. Looking back now, I think I spent twelve years avoiding anything that might matter enough to hurt me again."

I looked down at our joined hands for a moment before continuing.

"Most people probably thought I'd healed. The truth is that after Rachel died, it felt as though the best parts of my life had burned away with her. What was left wasn't nothing. I still had my job, my friends, and a reason to get out of bed every morning. But for a long time my heart felt like nothing more than embers. There was still some warmth left, but not enough to build a future around."

My gaze lifted to hers.

"Then I met you."

Aurora squeezed my hand gently.

"Twelve years is a long time."

"It is."

"What changed?"

The question mirrored one I had asked her earlier.

My answer came just as honestly as hers had a few moments earlier.

"You."

For several moments neither of us spoke. Very little remained to be said after that.

Eventually Aurora stood and carried our plates into the kitchen while I gathered the wine glasses and followed more slowly behind her. By the time everything had been loaded into the dishwasher, the intensity of the conversation had eased slightly, although neither of us seemed particularly interested in changing the subject.

Aurora topped up our wine and led the way into the living room. We settled onto opposite ends of the couch and continued talking. We talked about school, Firehouse 99, books, and the plans being neglected while recovering from our respective injuries.

As the conversation continued, Aurora shifted closer. When her hand settled over mine, I closed my fingers around it without hesitation.

Chapter Thirteen

Aurora

The warmth of Jasper's hand around mine made the apartment feel quieter than it had only minutes earlier. The conversation had moved away from Rachel, loss, and everything he had carried for twelve years, but the trust behind what he’d told me remained between us. I didn't feel the need to fill the room with reassuring words. He had trusted me with the truth, and the way his fingers stayed linked with mine told me he understood I hadn't been frightened away.

We talked for a while about lighter things, letting the evening find its balance again without pretending the earlier conversation hadn't mattered. Jasper told me about Cody arriving with enough groceries to supply half the South Loop and Ingrid leaving meals labelled with reheating instructions because she apparently trusted no one to use common sense.

I told him about Elyssa's ongoing attempts to turn my recovery into a fully managed operation complete with schedules, reminders, and follow-up inspections. By the time we were both laughing, the heaviness had eased into something gentler.

At some point, I realised I had shifted closer to him. The movement hadn't been deliberate, but I didn't move away once I noticed it. Jasper's injured shoulder meant his left side remained protected, and I was careful not to crowd him in a way that might cause pain. Even so, the awareness between us changed as our conversation slowed. His thumb moved gently across the back of my hand, and the simple touch drew my attention more completely than anything either of us had been saying.

"You're thinking very loudly," he murmured.

I locked my eyes onto his.

"That sounds like something Elyssa would say."

"Then I take it back."

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't," he admitted with a grin.