Page 48 of Nothing At All

I simply needed to . . .

Give him space.

And get myself together.

My notebook, the one with the soft pink cover and gold lettering on the cover, the one that held my to-do lists and budget check-ins and goals, caught my eye. I itched to lay out a pros-and-cons list but that could wait.

All of this might be a moot point anyway.

He might break up with me.

My throat tight and aching, I pushed that thought aside.

If he loved me, like he said, not saying it back yet wouldn’t be the end of us. I’d never told a boyfriend I loved him.

What did that even look like? I mean, I knew from the outside. Mama and Daddy loved one another deeply. I’d assumed I’d know it when it happened, with the right guy in the right place at the right time.

I should be exhausted, since I’d been up late and hadn’t slept well in the few hours I’d spent in Dan’s bed. Still, I was wired and feeling the loss of our communication with his phone lost. He filled up a lot of my day, not with nonstop texting or anything, but I received a morning, lunch, and evening text from him at least.

The silence pressed in around me, broken by the slight hum of the refrigerator – a hint as to what it would be like without him. I needed something to do. Something for him. And a trip to the grocery store would give me movement and a focus.

Cookies, maybe? He loved the ones with pecans and coconut from the cute bakery downtown. I could make those using Mama’s chocolate chip recipe, the one straight off the yellow bag.

But I could make him cookies, and when he was ready, I’d have something sweet and just for him.

In the middle of a workday, Winn Dixie wasn’t too crowded, a few retired couples ambling around, contrasting with the SAHM’s trying to get their errands done. With a basket instead of a cart, I hustled through the aisles, too agitated still to do much more than collect what I need and get through the checkout line, this time without encountering the local gossip queen.

The sharp smell of fresh asphalt hung in the air as I strode for my car, plastic bags looped over my wrist. I stowed them in the hatch and reached up to press the close button.

“Lila, right?” A too-familiar voice shivered over my taut nerves. , and I spun on one sneaker to find Nicole’s cousin behind me. Allison, maybe? The ER nurse Lacey thought was a bad influence.

I tilted my chin, watching her face, weighing her expressions. “Yes.”

“I’m glad Dan is all right.” Her lips curved into a perfect smile while she gazed at me with eyes that were very blue and very blank. Those eyes made my heart flutter, like stumbling on a snake along the sidewalk. “I appreciate how good he is to Nicole.”

I wasn’t entertaining that. Instead, with her blocking the path to my driver’s side door, I pressed my lips closed and let her have her say.

Head tilted to one side, she paused, waiting. My stomach clenched, and I refused to curl my hands into defensive fists. Her smile grew. “You’re not from here.”

That wasn’t a question, and she didn’t require a response.

“You’re . . . different. Fancy.” The word dripped derision. She was two seconds from me shoving by her.

The pads of my thumbs prickled.

“Everyone thinks Dan is a great guy.” Ugh, that smile. Her eyes skimmed over me, blank and expressionless. I suppressed a shiver. “I just want to see him get what he deserves.”

“And you think that’s not me.”

Something lit in her blue eyes, amusement mingled with relish. “Well, it’s not like you’re the kind who stays.”

I wasn’t entertaining that, either. Let her play her little games.

She smirked, the moment stretching between us, then pursed her lips, almost like a kiss. “Have a good day.”

Shouldering her bag, she swished away, too-blonde ponytail bouncing against her blue scrubs. I watched her go, anger and uneasiness pounding in my chest.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket. Eyes trained on Allison’s back, I tugged it free. Once she disappeared into Winn Dixie, I glanced down, surprised to see Dan’s name on the screen.