Page 21 of Easy On Me

“The gentle scares you.”

I turned my head, catching that steady gaze, deep enough to lose – and maybe find – myself in. “I don’t know how to do that.”

One dark brow quirked, a sharp angle of surprised inquiry. “At all.”

“Not like this.” I swallowed again, desperate for moisture in my mouth. “With my friends. And Mama Nancy. Not with a man.”

He nodded, a slow movement like he was trying to understand. His brows dipped together into a considering frown. He glanced at the bed, then back at me. “Not sure I know how to shift gears now.”

My cheekbones burned. “Like I said, I’m not easy.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He shrugged, a loose roll of his shoulders.

What? Oh, I didn’t like this.

Lips quirked in a slight grin, he slid his arms about me. “Hey, I’m about to throw you on the bed.”

“Wait. What–”

But he was already lifting me. I squealed, and sure enough, he tossed me in the center of the mattress and came down to cage me, good humor twinkling in his blue eyes. “Okay, so nothing too slow or gentle. Wanna wrestle?”

“No.” I pushed at his chest. He was ridiculous – and solid as a rock. “I do not want to wrestle.”

“Spoilsport.” Rearing back, he unzipped his jeans. Anticipation fired off in my veins like fireworks, along with pleased gratitude that he’d found a way to get us back on an even keel.

He shoved down the denim and his boxer briefs, revealing muscled thighs. His erection strained toward his belly. I shimmied out of my own jeans and reached for him, pulling him down to the mattress.

Pushing at his shoulder until he stretched out on the bed, I straddled him and leaned forward for a carnal kiss, opening my mouth over his. A hand in my hair, he sat up to kiss me, taking the kiss deeper.

Planting my palm in the center of his chest, I gave a little shove, putting him on his back once more while I slid down his torso, kissing my way to his navel. His muscles jumped when I pressed my lips above the rough hair curling at his groin. Relief and desire twined in me. Lust I could do.

Lust was easy.

I closed my lips about him, and he groaned, burying both hands in my hair. Gentleness lay under the urgency of his grip.

Throat tight, I told myself the hot prickling behind my eyes had to do with stretching to take him deeper into my mouth.

And nothing to do with the gentle way he touched me.

Afterward, I lay in the circle of his arm, following the fascinating line of his abs with a fingertip. He threaded his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp, and I closed my eyes, parsing out the warm sense of safety and security the simple caresses invoked.

Really, Colt had been the first longterm relationship I’d attempted. Before him, there had been dates and hookups, but no commitment. He’d looked safe and easy. It wasn’t his fault he turned out to be anything but. Safe, maybe, because I never felt threatened with him, except by my own extreme reactions to his complexity.

He had not been a cuddler, at all, so this was new. I liked it, liked Jase, even if his low level obstinacy annoyed me to no end sometimes. But annoying wasn’t complicated. He said what he meant, meant what he said, and stuck by it. That was refreshing and absolutely what I needed.

He toyed with the ends of my hair where it brushed the top of my chest. “You call your mama Mama Nancy?”

Every piece of me tensed, and I forced the muscles to soften. “Yep. She adopted me. She’s not my real mama, but she’s my real mama.”

He was silent, body boneless in his satiated relaxation, simply stroking through my hair. But I knew he had questions. He studied me like a tractor manual. “You can ask.”

His snort puffed against my temple. “Not gonna probe your private shit. Figure you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

I lifted my shoulders in a tiny shrug, my throat tight. “My real mama had problems. Like shouldn’t have had a baby problems.”

He flexed his arm to pull me tighter against him. I allowed myself to accept the closeness, his hard form along my side. The simple hug offered just enough without asking more than I could give.

“But she didn’t want anyone else to have me. I didn’t know my daddy, ever. He had issues from the military. I don’t know where he is.” The gaping hole of that yawned in my chest. Maybe it wasn’t his fault, maybe those things were bigger than he was, but he’d left me.