Page 47 of A Curvy Girl’s Hurricane Survival Guide

“That’s ok,” I say, hoping to encourage her to keep going.

“No, I’m a writer. I should communicate better than this.” She brings her arms down to her sides and takes a deep breath.

“Ok, so I feel like I’ve been a real bonehead about everything. I have an issue with things not going my way. I’ve always wanted what my grandparents had, what my parents had. And instead of waiting for it, I kept trying to manufacture it. To shoehorn myself into what each guy wanted and call it love. I figured the ends justify the means, and they would get me to my goal, right? Like that’s how I would get my Rey or whatever. Does that make sense?”

She pauses for a second and looks at me for confirmation. “I guess that depends on where you’re going with this.” I have to admit I’m a little confused.

“Right ok, so I’m trying to explain what I’ve been trying to accomplish with my past relationships and with Trevor. Then I met you, and… have you ever looked for the perfect cloud in the sky? And then you do this for so long that, at some point, you’re not sure what ‘perfect’ is anymore? That’s kind of what it was when I met you.”

“I’m the perfect cloud?” I ask, trying to keep a serious face and not crack a smile.

“Yes! Not that I’m trying to say I want to marry you or have your kids; that’s not what I mean. You are what good looks like; You’re the slot that I don’t have to shoehorn my idea of what a partner is into. But I’ve spent so much time with the wrong ones I didn’t realize it right away.”

She pushes her hair behind her ears. A lump starts to form in my throat. She has changed her thinking about me. She’s saying I am what she wants. I’m not sure what happened in the last half hour or so that brought about this change of heart, but I want to cheer with relief. I smile wide, not trusting myself to say anything yet.

“And that was before I found out that you’re the head of SonLaw Gaming,” she adds.

My blood runs cold. She knew? What were the odds that this epiphany is unrelated to the fact that she now knows I’m successful?

“You know?”

She grimaces a little and says, “Yeah, and I’m so sorry I said all those things about gamers and video games in general. I didn’t mean them. As you said last night, I was projecting.”

Last night? Last night, when she spat the word “gamers” out like it was venom? When she was ready to group me in with every other prick out there in her “if you know one you know them all” mentality. Just like my family.

She changed her thinking about me. But was it about me? Would she be okay with me being committed to gaming if I were a janitor? How can I know the difference? How can she?

Still, she’s looking at me with such hopeful eyes I can’t say anything. “So umm… what did Trevor say?”

“What?” She asks, clearly not the reaction she was looking for.

“You said he texted?”

“Oh,” she says, pulling out her phone and looking at it as if forgetting she had it. She waves a hand as if dismissing the idea. “Nothing really. Something about being in Miami in a few hours. Nothing important.”

“Well, that’s lucky, then. You can get the closure you’re looking for.” If she even decides to end it.

She begins to blink fast. “What? I mean, no, I wasn’t going to meet him. You said I shouldn’t…”

I begin to worry she’s going to cry, and I need to get away from her before that happens. I’ll never be able to think clearly if she does.

“Did I? Well, I think you should do whatever you want to do.” I hold up my phone and say, “I have a car coming to get me here shortly. I’ve been neglecting work long enough.”

I take a few steps back toward the house. Cai looks like she’s crumbling; her shoulders are falling as if giving up.

“I want to…” I have to stop myself from saying, I want to be that perfect fit for you. And instead I say, “Thank you for letting me ride out the storm with you.”

Cai stands there, mouth open, dumbfounded. I force myself to turn away from the hurt on her face. By the time I reach the house, I have almost convinced myself I don’t see a tear on her cheek when I walk away.

Rule #19

PREPARE FOR POTENTIAL SHIFTS IN LANDSCAPE AFTER THE STORM

CAI

What just happened?

Have I read the situation so drastically wrong? Did I explain it so badly that it had the opposite desired effect? That would be some poetic justice: I, the self-described writer, sought to describe my feelings to a boy who seemed into me, only to push him away. Pathetic.