Page 37 of A Curvy Girl’s Hurricane Survival Guide

We slip into her room. Cai grabs the lantern we rescued from the closet earlier, clicks it on, and turns off the flashlight. Instead of the total darkness we experienced earlier, the weak light makes it more like a grey haze. It’s much more comfortable.

We climb into our separate beds. The storm outside rages on, but in here, the silence between us feels louder.

I lay there staring at the ceiling; my mind is like a hamster on caffeine. Every word Cai has said is playing on a loop. Every line that went unsaid hangs between us, thicker than the humidity. She is lying a few feet away, breathing softly in the dark. There’s an invisible rope wrapped around my chest, tugging me toward her with every heartbeat.

I want to close the distance between us so badly it physically aches. I curl my hands into fists at my side and force myself to stay still. If I can just force my body to submit and my brain to chill out, I might have a chance to get some rest and…

“Sonny?” Cai calls out in the dark.

“Yeah?” I reply eagerly.

“I want to change my apology from earlier.”

My heart skips a beat in anticipation. “Ok…”

“I’m kind of… sensitive, I guess, about being seen as the emotional one. I’m always the one who’s single and never with a caring partner. I lashed out because of it.” Cai’s voice breaks more than once as she speaks. “I’m sorry if I led you to believe I was a better person or a stronger person than I am. I’m pretty pathetic, and I’m sorry. That doesn’t excuse my acting like a bitch in front of you.”

“Don’t say that. You’re not pathetic.” I can feel the anger rising in my cheeks. “Nothing you’ve done since the moment I met you makes you pathetic. If anything, you’re hopeful; you want things to work out. Wanting things, having desires, and making demands of those around you who claim to care for you is not a flaw.”

“Yeah, right,” she scoffs. “I’m sure lots of strong individuals chase their boyfriends who have literally blocked them.”

“Once I dated a girl who got mad I hung out with my friends instead of with her, and she cut all my clothes. Designer, expensive stuff I had saved up for. And I still dated her afterward.”

Cai gasps slightly! “Jesus, that’s terrible! Hopefully, you didn’t date her for too long!”

“Well, I stayed with her until she dumped me, so yeah. It was too long either way.”

“I pretended to be sick one year during Valentine’s Day because I couldn’t bear to be at work…” Cai confesses.

“That’s not so bad…” I begin.

“…for a week!” she adds.

“Oh…” I rack my brain for a story that would one-up hers. “Ok, once I told my mom this kid who rode the bus with me was my best friend because he was polite enough to wave when I’d say bye. So my mom invited him on a surprise birthday trip, and he told her he barely knew me. So, as embarrassing as it was for my mom to know, it was even worse when I went back to school, and everyone there knew, too.”

Cai lets out an “Aww” and then says, “Ok, here’s a really bad one. This story came out about a boyfriend who locked his girlfriend up for weeks because she threatened to leave. My initial reaction was, ‘Oh, wish someone liked me that much.’” Her voice cracks. I can hear the dam break as she starts crying.

Propriety be damned, I can’t let her lie there and cry in the dark. I am the man who lives between heartbeats. Even in the dark, I get to her bed in two. I lie next to her and pull her into a tight embrace. Her arms wrap around me as her body shakes with tears.

CAI

Sonny is in my bed.

Sonny has his arms around me.

Sonny feels damn good.

I bury my face against his chest, letting the tears fall as his hand strokes slow, soothing circles on my back. His shirt is soft, his skin warm beneath it, and the steady beat of his heart grounds me even as mine races.

After a while, the sobs ease. I stay curled against him, embarrassed but unwilling to move. The storm moans outside, but in here the only sounds are our breathing and the occasional creak of the old house.

“You want to trade more embarrassing stories?” Sonny murmurs, his voice a low rumble against my ear.

I let out a watery laugh. “Only if you promise not to laugh too hard.”

“Deal.”

I hesitate, then decide to be brave. “I’ve never really been on a proper date. Like the kind you see in movies, where someone plans something just for you, picks you up, and makes you feel… special. I’ve gone out with guys, but it’s always been casual. Meet at a bar and split the check; maybe Netflix after. Nothing intentional.”