Page 59 of Secrets on Ice

"Ember." I say her name louder.

"Mm." She burrows deeper into my pillow. "Five minutes."

"This is my bed."

"No, it’s not," she mumbles, eyes closed, with total certainty, and goes back under.

What the hell do I do? I stand in my own doorway, weighing my options. Her room is six feet away, and she'll want to wake up in it, so won’t even remember this. I slide one arm under her knees and the other behind her back.

"Come on, party girl, back to your own bed.”

She's asleep for most of the journey, and then she's not. Her arms come up around my neck on instinct, her face tips into my shoulder, and she smells like jasmine and champagne.

"Sully," she mumbles into my neck.

"Mmmm,” I answer.

"Good party," she says.

“It was.” I lay her down on her own bed. She lets go of my neck slowly, like her arms haven't gotten the message yet. I pull the blankets back and slowly try to get her under them, eventually getting her tucked in. I head into her bathroom and grab a glass of water and some headache pills, she will probably need them in the morning, and as I’m placing them down, Ember mumbles something.

“Sorry, what did you say?” I ask her.

Her voice is small and already half under, the words sliding into each other. "Do you think anyone will ever find me attractive again?”

I still.

She's not looking at me, her eyes are closed, her cheek pressed into the pillow. Nearly fifteen years with a man who was never really looking at her, and this is what he left behind. This is what's underneath the girl power and fuck men stance the girls have been saying.

"Yes," I say quietly. "Someone already does," I confess to her stupidly. I hate that seeing her so carefree and happy like she was tonight has kind of unlocked the feelings I had for her when I was a teen. I thought they had disappeared, but after spending all this time with her again, the very rusted lock around my feelings toward her seems to have broken open, and now here I am.

She doesn't hear it. Her breathing has already gone long and even, one hand curled under her chin, out completely. I switch off her lamp and close her door behind me. Back in my room, the bed is a mess in the shape of her, and the pillow smells like her perfume. I lie down on the very edge of the mattress and stare at the ceiling for a long time.

It's nostalgia, that's all. We're around each other for the first time since we were teens, and the last couple of weeks have been emotional for everyone, stirring up memories from the past. I roll over, and her perfume is on the pillow. I suck in a deep breath of it and my dick twitches.

Nope.

Not going to happen. Stay down, boy, now is not the time. I sit up and punch my pillow a couple of times, hoping that will help. It doesn’t. And I try to get some hours of sleep.

14

EMBER

York Harbor is like something out of an interior design magazine, with its all-white clapboard houses with black shutters, hydrangeas fat and blue against every fence, and ocean views everywhere you look. I have my face pressed to the car window the whole drive from the airstrip.

“I know.” Cassidy grins.

“It’s so beautiful.” I take photos with my phone of all the homes I see.

The flight up was chaos in the best way. Harper's jet was packed to capacity with our whole crew, two dogs, and enough garment bags to stock a boutique. Puck spent the flight with his head on Harper's belly like he's guarding it, and Frankston sat upright in a seat next to Pierre with a seatbelt on because, according to Pierre, he prefers it. The wedding party is staying spread across town. Fish's family has the York Harbor house with Evan, the St. Pierres have a rental down the street, and the rest of us, me, Cassidy, Sully, Bouch, and Nelly are at a little hotel in town with window boxes and a lobby that smells like coffee and sea salt.

The woman at the front desk hands over our keys and tells us the whole town knows about the wedding.

"We watched that boy grow up. We want nothing but happiness for him,” she tells us.

"He's still growing up," Bouch tells her. "But we love him anyway."

This makes her laugh. “Enjoy your stay, and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to contact us.”