Page 161 of Secrets on Ice

“Yeah, but … I think if you knew it would only hurt you more, and you’ve been doing so well. I don’t …”

I reach out and touch her arm. “I am doing well, I promise it won’t set me back.”

She doesn’t look convinced but takes another look at the image on the phone and shakes her head. “I’m disappointed in him.”

“Why?”

“Because …” she hesitates, “because I thought he was going to wait for you.”

Her words surprise me. I shake my head. “Why would he do that?”

“Really? You don’t know why?” she questions me.

“No, I don’t,” I tell her.

“You don’t remember what he told you in Vegas?” she asks delicately. “In the hospital.”

I shake my head. “That was all fuzzy to me. I don’t remember much.”

“Dammit,” she mumbles.

“Cass …”

“Fine but just know I am pissed with my brother,” she says angrily. “I heard him confess to you that he loved you. And that he promised he would wait for you. What a liar!”

Oh.

I’m stunned. I have no recollection of that conversation. “Are you sure?” I ask her.

“Yes. And that’s why I thought you two being apart would be okay because you would come back together, but it seems like it’s pushed you both further apart. I thought, he’s waited all this time, he can handle waiting just a little longer,” she tells me.

“What do you mean?” I ask her, because I feel like I’m missing half of the conversation.

“He’s been in love with you since high school. He’s never stopped loving you,” she declares.

Wait, what?

“And it’s my fucking fault that you two weren’t together, but I thought Kevin was your person, and I …”

“Cass, what are you talking about?”

She puts her coffee down and pulls her knees up under the blanket, she can't look at me. “Kevin.” She says his name like it tastes bad. “Me and Trevor pushed you at Kevin. Back then, that whole summer before college.”

“You didn't push me at anyone, I chose …”

“Em.” She finally looks up and her eyes are swimming. “I knew about Connor.”

Everything in me goes very quiet.

“I knew he was in love with you. I'd known for years, he was so obvious about it, and I never said one word to you.” She wipes her face with the heel of her hand. “And that night, when me and Trevor walked in on you two.”

My stomach drops, because I know exactly which night.

“I knew what we'd walked into the second I saw your faces,” she says. “I knew you were wavering, then Trevor bolted and called Kevin and told him what we had walked into. I stood right next to him, and I let him make that call, and worst of all, I agreed with him.”

“Cass …” I hate seeing her so upset about something that happened so long ago.

“And then Kevin came running back with all his big promises, and I told you to hear him out.” She's shaking now. “I actually said that to you. My brother had just laid his whole heart out on the floor, and I told my best friend to go and hear Kevin out. Because I liked our little foursome, and I didn’t want to break it up. I also didn’t think Connor was good enough for you because ew, my brother. I was so selfish, Em.”