Page 124 of Secrets on Ice

“Your brother's getting married,” she says.

“I know. I love Jo, she’s the best.”

“She's good for him,” Mom says. We stand there watching him. He's got his arm around Jo, and he hasn't taken it off her since he walked in.

“I'm proud of you, you know,” Mom says.

“Of me? He's the one who …”

“Not about tonight, even though you put on a fantastic party.” She turns and looks at me properly. “About all of it. What happened to you would have flattened most people, Em. I know how much you loved that life. And instead of falling apart you moved cities and started a business and made this.” She nods at the terrace. “Look at it. Look at all these people who love you.”

“Mom.” I’ve had too much champagne for this talk as tears well in my eyes.

“I'm serious. I've watched you my whole life make things beautiful for other people. Kevin's houses. Kevin's business.” Her mouth goes tight for a second. “This is the first time I've seen you build something that's yours.”

I have to look at the floor. I will not cry.

“And I'll say one more thing, and then I'll stop,” she tells me. “One day, I hope you meet someone,” she says it gently. “Not now. But one day I want to watch you plan a future with somebody who deserves you. You've got so much life ahead of you, sweetheart, and you spent all those years giving it to someone who was lying the whole time.”

“I know.” The tears come.

“I don’t want to upset you, sweetheart.” She pulls me into a hug. “I just don’t want you to give up on love because of him. That would be him taking one more thing.”

Across the terrace, Emmett laughs at something, and Jo elbows him. Maureen's telling a story with both hands, and Sully is standing at the edge of it with a beer, listening. He happens to glance over at exactly the wrong moment, and our eyes catch for about half a second before we both look away.

“I'm not giving up on it,” I say.

“Good.” Mom drains one of her glasses and starts on the other. “Because I want grandchildren before I'm dead.”

“Mom.”

“I'm just saying,” she pushes.

“Well, you’re going to have to rely on Emmett to give them to you. I am nowhere near that,” I warn her.

“True.” She chuckles. “I'm going.” She kisses my cheek. “You look happy, that's all I wanted to say.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I grumble. She gives me a small wave and dances off happily back into the crowd.

I'm fine. I am fine.

Dammit, I’m not fine. I look around to see if anyone notices me, but everyone is too busy drinking and chatting away to notice someone having a breakdown. I’m just going to Irish exit for a moment to collect my thoughts. Damn you, Mom. I exit the rooftop and take the lift back down to our apartment.

The quiet hits me like a wall. I get about four steps into the living room before it comes out of me, ugly and sudden, both hands over my face. Not about tonight. Not about Emmett, I'm so happy for Emmett I could burst. It's Mom saying, ‘you built something that's yours’ and ‘I don't want you to give up on love because of him’ and then the stupid question about grandkids. My mom is hoping for a life that I don’t even know is going to happen for me.

I don't hear the door until Sully’s deep voice scares the shit out of me.

“Em?”

I spin around, and he’s standing there. His brows are pulled together as he takes me in.

“I'm fine,” I say immediately, wiping my cheeks.

“You look fine,” he says, giving me a small smile.

“I'm coming back up in a minute.”

He just nods at my answer.