Page 36 of Juan

His heart ached, and the part of him that he’d only ever caught glimpses of as a kid reared up. The sliver of his soul that he’d suppressed. The ghost of yearning that as a child, he’d bullied and mocked into silence because it was easier than confronting the pain of his reality.

The part of him that longed for a family of his own.

He wanted it. He wanted it so bad, he could barely breathe. He craved what he never had. Quiet nights and chaotic mornings. Shared smiles and knowing looks. The certainty of being able to disagree, even have a fight, and know it wouldn’t end with someone leaving. Or getting kicked out.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t, deny it. Not when he was staring right at it. Right at them. He wanted it all with Amber. And Zoe.

He nodded, then took a sip of his beer, ignoring the tremor of his hand.

“Then why don’t you go start putting a few more bricks in that foundation,” Stein murmured before walking away.

Amber glanced up at him and smiled. Pulled like a magnet, he walked toward her, then sank to the ground. “So how many more dandelions do we need?”

***

Juan stood in front of Amber’s room getting ready to do something he’d never done before: show up without an express invitation.

He lifted his hand, then paused when his phone dinged. He was digging it out of his pocket when Amber opened the door.

“I thought I heard the chime,” she said with a smile so real he couldn’t help himself. Stepping into the room, he slid his right hand under the fall of her hair and pulled her into a deep, hot kiss as he gently kicked the door closed.

Minutes passed as they stood, sharing each other, enjoying each other, tasting each other. When their lips finally separated, Amber’s eyes were dazed, and a sensual smile played across her face.

“Hello to you, too,” she said, one hand on his chest, the other on his shoulder.

“Hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” he said. Her eyes searched his, and he had an inkling that she recognized something had changed in him.

“That text was me inviting you over,” she replied.

“I got distracted, didn’t have a chance to read it,” he replied, aching for her.

Her gaze dropped, but oddly, the hint of vulnerability only set him more firmly on his path.

“What plans did you have for us last night?” he asked.

Her eyes jerked up. A beat later, pink suffused her cheeks. His heart sank when she stepped back, but he let her go. Reluctantly.

She took another three steps away from him, then untied her cashmere robe. His breath whooshed out of him as it fell, leaving her in a whisper-thin set of pale green silk pajamas. A tank top with threadlike straps and a deep vee ending between her breasts. Shorts so short he wasn’t sure he could even call them that. If he slid his hand around her thigh, he’d feel the swell of her bottom.

“I don’t know what else you had planned, if anything, but I definitely like this plan,” he said, reaching for her. He loved kissing her, loved touching her, adored when she touched him back, and the thought of sinking into her, of even the possibility of it, sent a searing heat through his body, lighting it up in a way no one else ever had.

“Is it wrong that meeting Zoe, my baby, makes me want you, want everything from you?” she said more than asked.

“Whatever you want, Amber, it’s yours,” he managed to say, his gaze still drinking her in. Her long legs, the curve of her waist, the hollow of her throat.

“Today was a roller coaster,” she said, stepping toward him. “But a good one. The kind that makes you feel brave.” A hand came up to his waist and slid under his shirt. “Maybe a little reckless, too,” she said, before tipping her head up in invitation.

He didn’t want to be her reckless decision, but he had no issues being the recipient of her brave one. Focusing on the latter rather than the former, he lowered his head and touched his lips to hers.

“How far do you want to take this, Amber?” he asked, his lips brushing hers.

“How far do you?” she countered.

For the tiniest of moments, he considered giving her what she probably expected, a polite reply that the ball was in her court. But if she could be brave, so could he.

“I want to slide these straps off your shoulders and watch them catch on your nipples,” he said, brushing the backs of his fingers over the peaked tips. “I want to take them in my mouth, suck on them, pull them, roll them until you’re squirming. Then I want to kiss my way here,” he said, lowering his hand and cupping her through the thin silk between her thighs. The heat, the damp he felt, ratcheting his need up from a ten to a twenty on a one-to-five scale.

“I want to pull these off you and set my mouth right where my fingers are.” One finger dipped inside. “I want to make you come with my mouth. I want to feel you on my lips. And when you’ve spent at least twice, when you’re feeling like you can’t take anymore, when your throat is sore from biting back your cries because you don’t want to wake anyone, then I’m going to slide inside you. Not gently, not tenderly. I’m going to take you hard. I’m going to drive us both half mad. You’re going to drench my cock with your need, and only when I know you can’t take any more, when I know the pleasure is bordering on too much, will you come again. And you will. Like you never have before. And your cries, your body, will close around me and demand the same. You’ll feel me. You’ll feel me thicken, you’ll hear me swearing, cursing, calling your name. And then you’ll feel the heat of me. Even through a condom, you’ll feel my body desperately filling yours.” He paused, her body shaking against his as he sank another finger into her. “And when we’re done, we’re going to do it all over again.”